23 weeks! 17 weeks!

These weeks are getting harder and harder to get through. I am beyond excited to meet little Leah, and time has already started to stand still. I didn't think this was supposed to happen until much later, but as someone who rushes everything, I should have known it would hit me earlier. I think I'm going to start counting down now instead of up. Countdowns are much easier to look at - and it's much more fun to shave off a week, than add one. So with that:

17 weeks! 

See, much more fun already! It's funny though, because as much as I think time has completely stopped after finding out Leah was a Leah, it is also racing by without me knowing it. If I stop to think, I just have 17 weeks left. That's only 17 weekends. 17 Saturdays. 17 Thursdays, you get the idea. And that's given the fact that she comes ON her due date. Which I'm not expecting. If she's early, we won't even have that long. And if she's late, well, I don't want to go there. 

So when I think about only having 17 weeks left, I think about all of the things coming our way! I have a wedding shower for my very dear friend in two weekends, which also means a trip home to see my puppies and mom and dad. Double bonus. We have an out of town wedding, which I'm a little nervous about the drive, but excited to get away with Kyle. We have my birthday, which also means Cardinals game. My baby shower - SO excited for that one, and with everything I already have, I still have a mighty long registry list that includes such fun things as a Bjorn, jumperoo, bundle me, nb gowns, pack and play, breast pump, swaddle blankets, receiving blankets, and pacifiers. And yes, those are all hints. Gift cards will also be gladly excepted :). Then we have alumni weekend, which means nothing but a ride with Kyle to Fulton to then get picked up by my sister to spend the weekend with her and the babies! Yes! For Kyle it means golf and beer, but I've already given him the "you're gonna be a dad" speech, so I'm not too worried. After that are my maternity pictures! So excited to have our wedding photographer do them in PB! This also falls on Easter weekend, and my parents will be in New York, and we're not going to rush back to St. Charles so Kyle and I will have a quaint little Easter celebration in Poplar Bluff just the two of us... and Jesus. After that is a lingerie shower for that same very dear friend that is getting married. Then we are into May! And my mom is coming to town the very first weekend/mother's day! Yay! The following weekend is Kyle and I's anniversary, and anniversary trip! Cincinnati here we come! Why Cincinnati? Well that's because, 1)it's driving distance 2)the Cardinals are playing the Reds 3)we want to eventually go to every ball park, so this is stop one. Don't worry, I have picked out a maternity Cardinals shirt that says, "Little Cards fan on the way." So excited to wear it! After that folks, is our one day, all day, fast track, childbirth class. Nuff said. By then it's Memorial Day weekend/end of May/beginning of the month that our baby Leah bug could safely make her arrival! So June holds absolutely nothing for the Proebstings. And will remain that way. That starts the month of laundry, and pre-cooking meals, and pre-cleaning, and installing the car seat, and tying Kyle's phone to him, and banning him from beer. That month also comes with one very big test for Kyle, and the only day of the year Leah is not allowed to come... June 17th. 

So really, this next 17 weeks has no excuse not to FLY!  

Switching back to 23 weeks for a minute - here's what Leah is up to this week! Her "fat production" is in overdrive. And she will DOUBLE in size over the next four weeks. Which more than likely means I will too. She is over a pound now, and apparently is the size of a Harry Potter book. I don't do Harry Potter, but if you are a fan, go take a peak at a book, then imagine shoving it in your stomach. She can hear just about everything now, and is constantly sucking and swallowing amniotic fluid. Gross. She can touch and feel things all around her! Her kicks and flips get harder every day, and anything cold makes her move like crazy. She is getting more active at night, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to her literally swimming across my belly. We see her a lot from the outside, and she pokes out of every direction. I'm hoping some night I can capture it on video! This past week I believe she went through a growth spurt, not the exhaustion kind, but the kind where she moved constantly for 2 days, I ate constantly, then she was virtually still for a whole day (which mama didn't like), and back to her normal self by Sunday. And I again, had a new belly. 

Speaking of bellies... I watch mine like a hawk for 4 things. 1) that dark line that runs down the middle of your belly. I really don't want to get it, but if I do it won't be the end of the world. So far so good though. 2) stretch marks... no one wants those. And also for those, so far so good. 3) my belly button popping out! It has definitely started to change and flatten out some which is freaking me out! 4) last but not least... remember that tattoo I have? On my ribs? Well I analyze it every day, and so far I don't think it's stretching, shew! But I am nervous because I know I have a lot more growing to do. Leah is only one pound, and should have a birth weight of 7+...............

I've realized over the last week how just absolutely content I am with things right now. I have rushed my entire life. When I was 5 I wanted to be 10. When I was in high school I wanted to be in college. When I was in college I wanted a job. When I got a job I wanted my own place. When I got engaged I wanted to be married. I've never just enjoyed my present. But now, although I want to see Leah more than anything in the world, I'm not necessarily rushing the process, and I'm definitely not looking to anything beyond her. The whole first half of this blog was about me hating time standing still, I know, but I am enjoying it, I promise. I know I whine a lot, but I am loving being pregnant. For the most part I feel great, and my old pants still fit (with the bellaband), so I can't complain. Even when I'm sick or tired, she kicks and I forget it all. I want to enjoy this time with her, because I know it's the only time I'll get with just me and her. We really bonded when I was face down over the toilet, and I love that that's an experience we get all to ourselves. Once she's born there are so many people to love her and hold her, and I know I'll have to share. But don't worry, I get dibs whenever I want. 

For the first time in my life, I'm not rushing to the next step. And it is incredibly refreshing. Perhaps she's why. Perhaps she is what I've been rushing to my whole life. And now I've got her. Sure, she's not in my arms, but doing flips in my belly as I type totally counts as having her. There are other things in my life I'm looking forward to, of course. I am excited to own a house, and get a puppy, and welcome baby number 2 and possibly 3 into our lives, but they all just seem like bonuses now. I do believe Leah was the last step of the ladder I've been racing up my whole life. I feel like I've got it all now. I made it to age 10, I clawed my way out of high school, I got the college degree, I got the job, I got the husband, and now I've got the baby. Now I'm at the top of my steps and the view from up here might as well be covered in gold. I think I'll stay here for a while and enjoy it. 

And before I get even more cliched - see you at 16 weeks! Get it? We're counting down now :)