22 Weeks! Exhaustion.

So I thought I was tired in the beginning. I really had no energy, and no desire to do anything. I didn't cook, I didn't clean, I just laid around and went to bed at 7:30. But that was the extent of it, I was just tired. Nothing too out of the ordinary. The only thing different than being tired and not pregnant was that this tiredness lasted several weeks. It was nothing I couldn't handle, I just needed a lot more rest than normal. This past week, however, I was introduced to something I've never felt before. Pure exhaustion. I don't even know how to describe it. I don't know what to relate to it. I don't have the words for it. It was something I've never experienced in my life, and had no idea what was going on. But it happened, Wednesday night I was introduced to my first taste of exhaustion.

It started when I got home from my whirlwind day Wednesday. When I got back I was just so tired. I chalked it up to my busy, busy day of hanging out at the hospital. But when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. Usually, this is no problem at all. I was just uncomfortable all over. So I laid in bed for a while, and when I finally did fall asleep it didn't last. I was up every hour. By morning, I was in an awful mood, and starting to feel something way more than tired. My day at work was awful. I was in a horrible funk, everything was going wrong, I stared at my computer for most of the day, I couldn't focus, I couldn't remember, I couldn't put a thought together, and to top it off... I broke down in tears. Over nothing. Sitting at my desk, tears streaming down my face. That's when I knew something was up. I remember Leah was kicking like crazy, but it not making me smile like normal. Which in turn made me more sad. Nothing in the world could make me happy. I headed out a little early, for my own benefit.

When I got home, I collapsed on the couch. Literally. I got home at 4:30, and did not take my coat off until 7:30. My body would.not.move. I managed to stumble to the kitchen in a complete fog, and ate everything I saw. Coat still on. By dinner time though, I knew I wasn't going to be the one to cook. Or eat. By that time I was absolutely done, and also full. Kyle was on his own. Thank God for Pb&J. I went to bed at 8. But the same thing happened as the night before - I couldn't sleep! Ok, what is going on?! This was the second night in a row I was beyond tired, and could not fall asleep. That's just not normal. But this night, however, instead of laying there quietly... I lied there and sobbed. For.Ev.Er. I guess at some point I stopped, because I do know I got some sleep. After all, I woke up the next morning. I woke up, but not refreshed. I woke up exhausted. I was sick to my stomach, I had a headache like I've never had before, and I couldn't open my eyes. I made my way downstairs though, because the little girl in my belly doesn't go a meal without eating no matter what my state of mind is. So I got down there, ate breakfast.... and sobbed. Out of nowhere, and again for no reason at all. S.O.B.B.E.D. If you think I'm exaggerating, ask Kyle. He was there, and watching from a distance. There was nothing he could say or do. So, I called in to work. It just wasn't going to happen today.

I declared the day a mom and Leah day, and decided I would do whatever necessary to get us back on track. By this point, I had decided in my head I was dealing with some kind of serious exhaustion. So first things first, back to bed. And we slept! Until 10:00! It was amazing. And for the first time I felt a little refreshed. Still not at all "normal," but better. My house was disgusting, but I forced myself not to clean it. Today would be a day to sit on the couch. I could have slept til 1, I'm sure of it. However, Leah needed her second breakfast. So waffles it was. And back to the couch. I developed a plan for us. After breakfast, we would continue to lay on the couch, but at some point we would get up and go for a walk and do a work out. I decided that as important as rest was, endorphins were equally important. So that's what we did after lunch. And it felt great. Then I went back and rested some more, then decided to grocery shop. Something I actually enjoy. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty good, not great or back to normal, but miles ahead of where I was at the beginning of the day. I had one more relapse later that night, but I got a great night of sleep. Saturday morning things were looking up, I got some retail therapy, ice cream, and church... which together made the perfect combination. And by Sunday, praise Jesus... I felt back to normal... except.................................

I had a new belly on me! I woke up heavy, looked in the mirror, looked down, couldn't find my feet, turned sideways... my jaw dropped. Leah grew! Finally! A solution to the madness of the last 3 days! She was out of control growing, and there was nothing I could do about it. Emotions, sleep, eating... all as out of control as her little body was inside of me. So with my new belly, and my new, bigger baby... I enter 22 weeks.

One of the biggest things I've noticed about 22 weeks, besides my belly, is the fact that my shoes are all getting tighter. I had always heard about feet growing, but never really believed anyone that it was true. Low and behold, the same shoes I've worn for a year are now giving me blisters. Uh, what? It's so bizarre. Also, things already seem to be slowing down. I am so incredibly eager to meet her, I find myself staring at calendars counting down the days. I need to find something to do to distract myself... so mainly I play in her bedroom. Perhaps I'm "nesting" but I can't keep myself out of there. I love cleaning it, and organizing, and adding clothes and diapers. Things are really coming together in there!

Leah also has a couple of nicknames thanks to her daddy. I'm no good at nicknames, but his are great. The first is "LeahLi" (lee-uh-lie). He tells me it's a mixture of Leah and Caroline. And it fits, and slips out of my mouth more and more. The second is Leah Bug, like lady bug. This one just makes me smile. I can't wait to use both of them to her face.

Leah also survived her first tornado last night. She's surviving one natural disaster after another. First the blizzard, and now only weeks later, tornadoes. The three of us spent a good hour in the bathroom. And the whole time she just wanted to eat. We had the TV turned up loud enough to hear it in there, and thankfully when we heard it had passed for the most part we crawled out. First things first, midnight or not, give Leah food. She demands it. So we ate a breakfast, and headed back to bed. She kicked the rest of the night. She must love storms like her Mama. Although, if they don't come that close again we'll both be happy.