38 Weeks! Ready.

Well, here I am. Another week pregnant. Leah is another week older, and half a pound heavier.

We made it through the ridiculous stress of last week. Preparing for that test like he does wore all three of us out. But, in case you missed it, he passed! We are in the clear to have this baby! And so has begun the round the clock waiting and daydreaming for just what that day will bring.

I.Am.Ready.

I do love that every day she's in there she gets a little fatter. I can't wait to kiss those fat cheeks. But, that's just it... I'm ready to kiss those fat cheeks! Her moving around in my belly is still fascinating and fun, but I'm ready to see her move around outside of my belly. Her room is clean and perfect, but I'm ready to see it messy, with diapers and clothes everywhere. My shins are being good sports, but they are ready to go back to just carrying one of us around. The elastic waists are fun, but I'm ready to button pants like a big girl again. Her hiccups crack me up still, but I'm ready to hear them as well. I have enjoyed referring to myself as a "we," but I'm ready to just be a me again. It's fun to talk to my belly and refer to it as a "she," but I'm ready to talk directly to Leah and call her by name. Pregnancy has been fun, it really has, and I get sad when I think about some of the things I'll miss... but I'm ready for the baby.

I've been thinking this past week about just how much I have changed. I think I've completely forgotten what my old self used to be like. Not personality wise; besides more crying... I think I'm still the same. But just body wise. I've started thinking about things that I now consider normal, and I've realized that they didn't used to be there at all. I didn't used to get severely winded walking up the stairs. My back didn't used to hurt all day. My feet used to be an 8, not a 9. I didn't used to get kicked in the ribs. I didn't used to get heartburn. My hair and nails don't normally grow at the speed of light. I didn't used to eat all day. I used to sleep on my stomach every night. I used to always be cold. I didn't used to wake up three and four times a night to go to the bathroom. I didn't used to drink a gallon of water a day. I used to have an "inie." I didn't used to have so many veins on my stomach. I used to paint my toes all by myself. This list goes on, but there are just some things you don't want to read. I have started wondering just how much of the old me I'll get back when she's out. I'm fairly certain I'll lose the weight, but will my feet shrink back to normal? Will I keep chugging water like I'll never drink again? Will my hair stop growing at the speed of light? Will I make it up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing? I guess time will tell. I'll be sure to let you know. But it is surreal just how much I consider normal now. Except when I really think about it - the fact that there is a child in my stomach moving all day long doesn't phase me anymore. However, when I think about it... it rocks my world.

Do you know why else I'm ready? Since we're getting close, and I have enforced the answer the phone rule with Kyle - I can't call him without knowing he freaks when he sees my name pop up. I really try not to call, because I want to save that for "the call," but sometimes I have to - and I wince as it's ringing, because I know he will answer frantic. And he does. Most of the time saying, "what's wrong?!" Ha - somehow I have to explain to him that when he does get that magical call, things will not be wrong... they will be so very right! It's not just him though, my mom is just as bad. Only she sounds like she's just run a marathon. Out of breath, and completely out of sorts. The first time it happened, I thought something was wrong with her. But she let me know that she now thinks every time I call will be "the call." I thought my sister was still pretty sane, but yesterday when I called her she answered not with a Hello, but with a, "are you in labor?" Then when I said no, she said, "let me call you back then." Ha - thanks. However, I'm not sure if I'll call her at all when I go into labor. I distinctly remember her not leaving a voicemail when she went to the hospital with Zoey. I don't know, the jury's still out on that one. Even my grandma, who lives in New York, can't answer without thinking it's the call. I called her just to say, "Hello" the other day, and she quickly responded, "Oh, honey, I thought you were calling me from the hospital." So, although it's a little fun, I'm ready to not put people in panic by calling to ask how they are or what they're doing. Also, every time I call someone and have to explain that no, I am not in the hospital - I'm also reminding myself that, no, I'm not in the hospital. Ugh. I'm ready to be in the hospital!

A couple of things have led me to believe that I will be at the hospital soon though. They both happened yesterday. It started off by waking up at 7am ready to face the day. I came downstairs, scarfed breakfast, wrote a blog, and headed to the kitchen. I was going to save my cooking for these next couple weeks when I have nothing else to do - but I had a serious burst of energy and just wanted it done. So I cooked, and cooked. We now have four meals of hamburgers, four meals of chicken, one meal of chicken fajitas, two frozen pizzas (I didn't cook those), and a meatloaf and lasagna put together, but not yet baked. All of this by 9:30am. Every one of my emails tells me a "sudden burst of energy" is a sign, however, I have had lots of sudden bursts in the last couple months - so I'm not sure how to judge this one. Again, time will tell. The second came late last night. I was sick most of the day, but I've been sick most of every day these past few weeks. Although, yesterday it was worse than others. And kept getting worse. Kyle had a softball game (in the heat), and by the time we got home (I should not have gone), I was just done. I wasn't hungry, and as we sat and watched TV I noticed myself getting sicker and sicker. Flashbacks of weeks 4-14 were haunting me. My mouth was also doing that fun watering thing. I should also note, that I didn't take my unisom the night before (yes, I'm still taking that), because it had run out. I got up and tried to throw up once... no dice. But I decided if it was the unisom, I couldn't afford not to take it again and was about to go get some. But that wonderful husband of mine went to get it for me. When he got back things were even worse. I opened the unisom, but couldn't bring myself to swallow it. I just knew it would come back up and be a waste. So I held it for five minutes... then my world came crashing down. Our house is not that big, and there is not much room between the couch and the bathroom - but I have never been closer to not making it to the bathroom. And I threw up, and threw up, and threw up, and threw up, and threw up... and when there was nothing left... I dry heaved, and dry heaved, and dry heaved. I don't care if that grosses you out - I was the one covered in it. Now, also in my emails on the signs of labor is vomiting. Check. It could have been from the heat or the lack of unisom the night before - but all I know is I have never thrown up that violently in my life. Side note: Do you know how hard it is to throw up with a baby in your stomach... kicking! Yeh - she didn't even stop to let mom throw up in peace.

We went to the doctor again. Things are good - moving right along. I gained 1/2 a lb, and there was a little more labor progress, so I'm a happy girl. But all in all, the only thing that matters are the contractions so I've just got to keep watching them and hope they get painful and consistent. Leah kicked the nurse and flipped sides so we had to wait for her to calm down to get her heartbeat... but it was as good as ever, 148. She also told me that Leah was a good 7lbs, and that she is/would be a good sized baby! Yay - I might just get those chubby cheeks!! I've been out of her office for about an hour now, and all I want to do is go back. This waiting game is driving me insane.

That's about it. Leah is good. I'm good. Kyle's good. I hope I don't have to write any more of these blogs. I would much rather blog about the day I went into labor or about our days with her at home. Sigh. See you next week??