37 Weeks! Full Term!!

Well, we did it! Leah Caroline Proebsting is a full.term.baby. And oh my goodness, you don't know how much of a relief that is. Or maybe you do, but either way... I am one happy mama. I don't want to dwell on it too much, however, she's still not in my arms... but it is definitely a huge milestone. We are finally at the point that if she came today, no one would be concerned. She has done a good job growing herself into a little person, and now we all just wait. And wait. And wait. But it's a fun wait, the anticipation is indescribable! And the fact that at any moment I could start having real contractions, or my water could break is completely... well I don't even know what to say about that. It's huge.


As excited as I am today, I will be one thousand times more excited on Friday. Finally, Kyle's test will be over. Even though it's completely normal for Leah to come today, we would still really prefer her to come after his test. Obviously, there will be no stopping her once she decides to come - but I think we've reached an understanding with her and she has agreed to wait. But starting Friday, even Friday afternoon... all systems are a go. And you had better believe I will be trying out every wives tail in the book to ease her along. I've just got to see that little face of hers! I was in Target the other day, and somewhere close to me was a newborn crying. That perfect cry that only the most new babies can make. And I can honestly say I've never wanted Leah more. I've wanted her this entire pregnancy, but hearing that baby cry, my heart just ached for her to be in my arms. I want to hear her cry, and be the one that soothes her. And then naturally, I teared up. The workers of Target must think I'm some sort of lunatic. I swear something makes me cry every time I'm in that store. Thankfully, I got a solid right hook to the side to snap me out of it. Thanks, bug.

Well, she's 37 weeks old. Everything is finished. Her height should be maxed out (God, I hope so), but she is still packin' on the pounds. And moving right along with schedule, she should be six and a half. She's a pretty obedient baby from what I can tell. If she gets herself in a position that I just can't handle, most of the time I can push on her(politely) and she will readjust. She is still ridiculously low. And by that I mean, sometimes I check to see if she is falling out. She switches sides from time to time, but for the most part she really prefers hanging out on my left side. I really worried about her one night last week. I woke up to go to the bathroom as usual, except this time she wasn't moving. Most people might not think anything of that, but remember, I have a baby that doesn't stop moving. I'm not lying when I say every time I wake up at night she is moving. I was instantly worried. I'm used to being greeted at 2am by a kick or a case of the hiccups. But she was still. When I got back into bed I couldn't fall asleep, I was worried about her! So I did all I could think of... and started poking. And I guess she was sleeping cause she started moving for me. And as I tried to fall back asleep, I completely regretted that decision.

This past week has been a rough one for her mama. For the first time, I feel every bit pregnant. I'm heavy, my belly is as hard as a rock, I can't stand for long or my heels shoot pains up my legs, I get a fair amount of braxton hicks contractions, I can't breathe, I'm hot, my back hurts, and I'm sluggish. (Geez, whine much)? Maybe it's the fact that the temperature was not below 97 until Saturday. Gross. I even asked Kyle how many times he thought he could eat subway this week, cause I just can't stand the thought of cooking for several reasons. 1) the thought of the oven on makes me shutter 2) the thought of grilling outside makes me shutter 3) the thought of standing on the kitchen floor for more than five minutes makes me shutter 4) the thought of cleaning up after cooking makes me shutter. All of that shuttering is not worth dinner. And you might be saying, "just have Kyle cook." No no, you forgot about his test. He's not doing anything but studying this week, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So he'll eat Subway, and pizza... and I'll have cereal. Yum. Don't feel sorry for us - we all win in this situation, seriously. The need to nest is still with me though. But I've found uses for it other than cleaning. I've started stocking up on things so that we don't have to go shopping for at least three weeks after she's born. I feel like I have enough toilet paper to last us until Christmas. Which has given me reason to clean out the pantry, freezer, and bathroom closet! I will be buying extra food this weekend, and begin to cook ahead of time. I don't want to live off of take out, and I still want us to continue to eat like we have been - after all, I'll be ready to lose weight! So I'm excited about cooking ahead for us, and I'll be getting all of the ingredients to make all of our favorites. I get emails now telling me all about the signs of labor. However, they all have a buffer and make sure to include, "signs that labor is approaching in coming days or weeks." Um, duh? Even if  Leah stayed in my belly as long as humanly possible, she would be here in five weeks. So really, the emails mean nothing. If I had every sign of labor, it could still take "weeks." Ugh - here starts the exciting frustration with all of the new signs I have to look out for.

And again with the doctor appointments. Every week now, and I love it. Leah was well behaved, and her heartbeat was a strong 145. And get this - I lost a pound!!! After hearing that it was normal in the end, I got very excited. After gaining weight for about 20 weeks straight, it's nice to be a pound lighter. Even though I don't feel it. I've debated sharing with you "centimeters and effacement" progress since she's checking for these now. And in the end, I decided... I'm not going to. Sorry to bum you out if you were looking forward to it - but I've got to draw a line somewhere. I will tell you she said she was low and ready... and as far as the rest of it goes, just know that I am jumping up and down on the inside. She officially put me on the lookout for contractions. I can go to the hospital when we reach 511 status. Five minutes apart, lasting a minute, for an hour straight. Stopwatches, engage.

I've been getting some serious bites of reality lately. I think it's finally, really starting to hit me. I can't force them, and I can't make myself find one. They just have to happen. It's as if God chooses the time, and then whispers in my ear, she's real - and she's coming. I can think about her on my own all I want, but when I get one of these split second tastes of reality, I am instantly overwhelmed, in a wonderful way. She will be here soon; it's a fact. We will finally get to see her face. I can finally give her a kiss. We will hear her cry. We will hold her. I will be able to see if she's got the personality I've imagined her to have. I will get to see if she actually sleeps as little as she does in my belly. We will get to see just how long and heavy she is. Some day, any day, we will finally get to meet our little girl!

From here on out, when I write these blogs I will wonder if "this is the last one I will write?!" It's a crazy feeling. But if this one isn't the last one, and I'm back here next week - Kyle's test will be over, my hair will be much shorter and lighter, my toes will be pedicured, Leah will have gone to her last Cardinals game in utero, and I will be finished working. In the words of my niece, "Oh boy!"