Once you get a positive pregnancy test, a lot of things bombard your mind. Hopefully, excitement overwhelms you. There's also happiness, perhaps shock, an immediate instinct to nurture, and an overwhelming sense of pride and love set in. But somewhere, maybe moments, maybe days, maybe weeks later you get a doosey of a feeling... This child is going to be here forever, and I'm the one that has to raise it.
That is one intense feeling. I got it in the beginning, and it still creeps in from time to time perhaps even more intense now that ours is getting closer and closer to coming out to meet us. The responsibility of not just raising a child, but also making sure they are healthy, safe, educated, well-rounded, and just plain kind is almost too much to handle. How in the world are we supposed to take this little baby that is content just kicking my sides all day, and turn her into a decent and respectable member of society. Where are we supposed to find the answers on what to do when, and how to do what, and what to do if? Well, lucky for me, I think I've got just the person.
I knew I wanted to write something about her, after all, it is mother's day... and I'd like to give hallmark a run for it's money. But my mind just blanked. Everything I thought of seemed so dumb. I could write stuff about how great and wonderful she is, obviously, but how cliche would that be? She is kind and sweet and nice...but those words are all lacking what exactly I think about her. But luckily, just in the nic of time and as I was peeling an orange... it came to me.
How am I supposed to figure out how to raise Leah? Where is this giant book of knowledge telling me all of the rules? I've never had a baby, how in the world am I supposed to know what to do with this baby the day she gets here? Well, God gave me all of those answers 24 years ago in the from of an Ellen Rossi. And I guess I got pretty lucky, because peeling that orange today I figured out that all I really have to do in raising Leah is remember all of the things she did with and for me (and my sister).
She home schooled us. Can you believe it? People have such a weird opinion of home schooled kids like they are some kind of freaks or something. Hopefully my sister and I are proof that's not the case. We always had the choice of when we wanted to start public school, my sister waited til 5th grade and I made it til 2nd. And do you know what? When we got to school I dare say we were the smarter kids in each of our classes. We were above average readers and writers. Math is a different story, but I don't blame my mom for that. And no, I'm not going to home school Leah, but I do hope that I always remember how much time my mom dedicated to us every day and night helping us learn. Even trying to teach me math, she would sit with me for hours as I sobbed and yelled at her in frustration and she just pushed on through always staying patient. I already can't wait to help Leah with her homework (her dad can help her with math). I learned from my mom that if I do it without distraction and stay patient with her she will actually enjoy it and she will remember it as being fun.
She cooked with us. Oh my goodness did (does) my mom cook. She made spaghetti sauce like she just got off the boat. She baked things like she was Martha, she canned jelly like she was a pioneer, and she always let us help. I know now, after babysitting and nannying, how much fun kids can have when they cook. But I also know how darn frustrating it is. They are messy, they are slow, and they want to do everything by themselves. However, I cannot wait until Leah is old enough to get in the kitchen with me. Here's what I learned from my mom about cooking with kids... it's not actually about the final product. It's about sitting on the counter surrounded by flour. It's about cracking and egg and spending the next 20 minutes trying to get the shell out. It's about begging to lick the beaters. And it's about learning to frost and sprinkle, even if that means one piece gets all of the frosting and sprinkles. It's about the time. Even writing this paragraph a million memories have come in and out of my mind about cooking with my mom. I can't wait to start some with Leah. Maybe someday the two of us can make something for grandma!
She took us on walks. We walked everywhere in the town I was born in. It's so easy to just sit a kid in front of a tv and get some things done, but they don't remember what happened in that show the next day. But I remember the walks 20 years later. She talked to us, she listened to us, and most of the time we ended up across the street getting a cookie. Eventually, those walks turned into bike rides all over town. And my best memory of that is my sister always running into the same fence in the same spot and falling over. So here's what I learned from my mom about hanging out with Leah... I should get her outside. I shouldn't just let her watch tv or play on the computer or play video games all day because she thinks it's fun. Believe it or not, she will have more fun outside walking with me and telling me all about her little life. Of course, we'll also want her daddy with us, and our puppy. I'm already having a blast on our walks with Leah, I can't imagine how much more fun it will be when she's in a stroller and I weigh 20lbs less!
She had fun with us. Nothing was ever too serious, or too strict around our house. Maybe I was just an angel, but I don't remember getting in trouble very much (when I was little). I have to think though, maybe she just let us experiment with things and figure things out on our own before yelling at us or enforcing millions of rules. She pretended with us. She imagined with us. She got on the floor and played with us. I learned from her that I need to be Leah's playmate as much as her mom. I need to laugh with her and tickle her and sit on the floor with her. I might get bored sometimes doing little kid things, but Leah will have a blast playing with me. Our house doesn't always have to be organized, it needs to be lived in. There should be toys on the floor and crayons in the couch cushions. That will be the sign of a successful day.
She prayed with us. This was where the magic was. She prayed with me at bedtime, before meals, when I was scared, or whenever else the mood struck. She taught us the comfort and peace in calling on God for any reason. What a treasure that is to have. Who else would I have learned that from? It's definitely not the mainstream way of handling things... good or bad. I am so thankful for her teaching us to talk to God. I can't wait to show Leah how to pray and talk God. I know that that's going to be the most valuable tool she has, and I'm so happy I had a mama who also knew that and passed that on to me. I think there are so many things that a good mom can teach her kids, but without this one they don't really give them anything to count on when they aren't there. I learned from my mom that I won't always be with Leah, but that if I teach her to pray she will always be safe and comforted.
I could go on. And she really is kind, sweet, nice, wonderful, amazing, and brilliant. But I am so thankful for the unwritten book of rules she gave my sister and I on how to raise our kids. I've already seen my sister use every one of them. I can't wait to test them out for myself!
Thanks, mom for everything you've taught me! I sure hope Leah likes me half as much as I adore you. I love you.
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