Second Trimester!!

Things are picking up pace in the Proebsting household! After a whirlwind Christmas weekend, we came home and unloaded presents, realizing 1) that we are in fact having a baby, and 2) that this baby is already spoiled. For someone not even born, he sure got a ton of presents!! But mom and dad are thankful, after all, that's less we have to buy!

As if I wasn't aware before (and I was), I now know without a shadow of a doubt that we are having a baby. It's a little hard to believe before you can hear anything, feel anything, and clothes still fit. BUT, in only the last few days this baby has made sure we know he is alive and well. It all started last Wednesday. You all saw the picture... hello, baby bump. I had one before, or at least thought I did. My pants were difficult to button, and I was aware of my growing belly. However, the belly in that picture arrived over night. I'm not really sure where it came from either. But I remember waking up, looking in the mirror, and literally saying in my head... woah. I figured I was half asleep still, or seeing things, so I went about my day. But when I got home, Kyle actually noticed it. I don't remember his exact words, but it was something to the affect of... "woah, I guess you're really pregnant." And thus, we had to take a picture to mark the momentous day. Ever since then I have felt like I'm carrying around an extra load, which makes me really nervous for June and July. That was Wednesday. Move forward to Sunday morning, about 5:30am. I did not sleep Saturday night, nothing new. So I was laying in bed day dreaming about the future, and I put my hand on my belly, mainly just because it's already a habit of mine. BUT, I felt something! Something hard. And if I wasn't pregnant, I would have thought it was a tumor. So naturally, I started poking it. Ha, poor baby. Thinking to myself, "is this what, who I think it is?!" I felt all around my stomach to see if it was all hard... it wasn't. Everything else was the normal squishy belly I'm used to, except for this one precious little spot right under my belly button. I'm pretty sure I was visibly glowing. I just kept poking it, and smiling. Then, at 5 minutes til 6 I woke Kyle up, took his hand, and said, "feel this!" Poor guy, he was half asleep. He felt it, made some kind of noise, and rolled back over. Ugh, at least I know in my heart he loves it. I lied in bed forever, not wanting to get up, because I knew that once I did he would move and I would have to wait for him to resurface. But alas, the need to go to the bathroom got the best of me. Rats. That was Sunday. Fast forward to today, about noon. I'm at the doctors office. She says, "are you ready to hear something?" Duh. So I'm laying there, bracing myself for her to roll the thing all over my stomach trying to find the heartbeat. Well, all she had to do was touch it to my belly... thud thud thud thud thud. (Sorry, that's the best I can describe it with words). I thought for a split second, that's just my heartbeat. Ha, I was clearly delusional. Quickly, and thank God, she snapped me out of that thought with a, "there it is." And there it was. So fast! And so strong! 165 beats a minute. I could have listened to that all day. I should have asked her if I could keep the doppler, but I chickened out. Bummer.

So there it is. We're having a baby. A real one, with a heartbeat and everything. I'm on cloud nine.

So with that heartbeat, I begin my SECOND trimester! I believe time is actually flying. So here are some updates:

Sickness: still there. In fact, I threw up all night. When I was at the doctor today, I weighed in at one pound less than my pre pregnancy weight. She was a little concerned about this, and gave me a prescription to try and help. We'll see. I'm not holding my breath. But the good news is, I now have permission to eat large quantities of food whenever I want!

Cravings: canned peaches, wings, chili, waffles, and now thanks to going home for Christmas, cinnamon raisin english muffins.

Aversions: Subway (which I may never eat again), and peanut butter.

Biggest bummer: I can no longer button OR zip my jeans.

Biggest excitement: Going into what will be his nursery and watching the collection of baby things grow.

Most anxious for: February 15th! The day we find out if it's a Jack or a Leah!! And I will say it again, I do not care what it is. Stop telling me it's one or the other though, you don't know.

Biggest challenge: staying awake past 8. That will be put to the test this weekend, wish me luck!

Most emotional: Putting my hand on the hard lump in my belly, and never wanting to take it off.

Most dreading: Waddling around in the hot summer month of June.

Goal for this trimester: 1) stop being sick 2) start exercising again

That about wraps it up. See you next week. Have a happy and safe New Year! Don't drink and drive, there will be pregnant people like me on the roads...

There is no light.

Remember that light I thought I saw a couple days ago? The one that I got excited about. The one I thought meant I was turning a corner. Well, it disappeared. Shortly after I wrote that blog it dimmed and dimmed, and now it's completely gone.

This week has been one for the record books as far as sickness goes. It's back to all day, every day with no breaks. I don't know if anyone else out there has been sick 24/7, but it gets really, really tiring. The days are bad, but the nights are worse. I can't make any plans to leave my house at night, and if something sounds good to eat at 1 o'clock, I can count on the fact that by the time 5 rolls around it will sound like the worst idea I've ever had.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten so excited about feeling better. I totally jinxed myself.

Kyle and I got Subway one night this week. I decided to try it again for God knows what reason. Long story short, I got halfway through it and threw up so hard I popped the blood vessels under my eyes. Neat. I won't be eating Subway again until this baby comes out. Maybe never again, who knows.

They say sickness means the baby is healthy. Well, I'm going to have the healthiest child in the world. It's funny though, I'm miserable and upset most of the time, yet somehow I am still so excited!  I cannot wait to meet this little thing that is causing so much trouble. I can't wait to see what he or she looks like. I can't wait to hold him, and even wake up in the middle of the night with him. What have I got to lose, right? I don't sleep anymore anyways.

I don't complain all the time, I promise. Just on here... because I can say whatever I want. And I want you all to feel sorry for me, ha. Don't think for a second I don't want to be pregnant though, or that I'm not enjoying all the other stuff that goes along with it - because believe me, I am. I wouldn't have it any other way. And knowing me, if I wasn't sick I'd be worried, and I think I'd rather have the sickness than the fear. 

In just a week and two days I will be out of the first trimester! That means the sickness is gone, right? Right?! That's what they tell me, and they better be right.

In other news... Hooray for Christmas!! I am SO excited for this season, sick or not - it truly is the best time of year. We will go to Poplar Bluff on Thursday morning. I'm so ready to see my parents, and dogs! My mom makes these magical little cookies called Rum Balls, and of course that was one of the first questions I asked my doctor. She told me as long as I just had a couple it should be fine - so I will be helping myself to a few and trying not to feel guilty! The baby will need a little buzz anyways if he's going to be a part of the Rossi family Christmases for a while. That's just how it goes. We also order pizza from NY every year and have it shipped - and that has got to be the BEST tradition! My mouth is watering just thinking about it. I even googled it to show Kyle just what he was in for, I can't wait to share it with him! Yum!! Besides food, I can't wait to spend time with Zoey on Christmas. Last year she was just 5 months old, so she couldn't do a whole lot. This year I am ready to watch her open presents, and grunt and point all day! And then of course there will be the watching of Christmas Vacation. A classic. Normally, my mom makes her own special version of egg nog and we all choke it down as it burns our throats and makes our eyes water, and the movie gets funnier and funnier the more glasses we have. However, this year since half of us are pregnant mom informed us she will not be making it. Darn. But I'm sure the movie will be just as good. We'll have to go to wal-mart at least 10 times with my dad, his favorite store in town. There will be a puzzle my brother in law brings that we all have to put together in a day, and me waking everyone up at 6am to open presents. Get over it, Lauren - it's still happening.  All in all... I am stoked.

There will be lots of pictures to come!
If I don't get around to writing the 12 week blog, don't worry, I'm sure nothing will change in two days and I will still be sick... so Merry Christmas!!

I can see a light!

Well folks, things may indeed be looking up. As I go into week 11, I have begun to notice some of the sickness disappear. Not completely, however, it has lessened quite a bit. For instance, instead of being sick all day I am now mainly only sick at night (with of course a few waves during the day). I have a bit of an appetite now, and it's getting less scary to eat. I'm no longer sick (for the most part) when I first wake up, nor do I wake up sick in the middle of the night. Both of those things are probably the most welcome. Waking up from a sound sleep sick was the pits. And it's much easier to start a day when the idea of moving is much more in my grasp. I just hope it's not all some sort of a tease, and that maybe I really am turning a corner!

Last night I was made all too aware of my longest lasting symptom, and one I don't even think I've talked about since it has mainly been overshadowed by the sickness, and that is.... the inability to sleep. For those of you that know me, you know I love to sleep. I love to go to bed. I can sleep anywhere. I am not, nor have I ever wanted to be a night owl. I love thinking about going to bed. However, I think I am growing a child that hates to sleep. I'm sure it could have nothing to do with him - but for now, he's getting the blame. I don't think I've slept a full night since I've been pregnant. Even before I knew I was pregnant, I realized I wasn't getting the normal blissful sleep I am so used to. I'm at a loss as to what it is. In the very beginning I was trying to be good and reading my book that told me to sleep on my left side because that's best for the baby. So I tried it. Let me mention here that I am and have always been a stomach sleeper. The sides just don't do it for me. And I learned quickly that the left side really doesn't do it for me. So for a while I chalked my constant waking up to me forcing myself to sleep uncomfortably on my left side. So I gave that up, and went back to sleeping on my stomach. Gasp! I feel a little like a bad mom, and really just hope he doesn't come out smooshed. When I went back to stomach sleeping though, I really started getting into the serious sickness. And I woke up every 30 minutes sick. And that became the new reason for my lack of sleep. So now that for the most part has worn off, and I'm still waking up! Only now, I just wake up. And lay there. Completely awake. Ugh.

I'm going to insert a "Kyle's dreams" side note here:

So if I have to be awake, I am so happy I get to be awake and have live entertainment right beside me. Last night I was laying there (from the hours of 1-5am no less) and Kyle's dreams were in full force! He was loud, and obnoxious almost all night. Sadly, he really didn't carry out a complete dream - but I did catch an episode of his sleep walking! So he started mumble yelling in his sleep. And I layed there smiling and still to see where this would go. He sounded like he was in trouble, I was a little nervous for him. He was moving around a lot too, had the hands flailing in the air, and his legs kicking around the sheets. So then he sits up. Uh oh. I knew what was coming next. Except I didn't. Because next he grabbed his pillow and stuck it out in front of him like a shield, I laughed. Then he stood up! With his pillow still out in front of him. And he was mumbling but sounded really scared. So I got nervous, and for some reason got this idea in my head, "what if he hurts me?" He was definitely fighting something, and I didn't want him to turn on me, I didn't even know where he would go. So I had to put a stop to it. I yelled, KYLE! I couldn't tell if he woke up or not, but he immediately got back in bed and layed down... and then gripped my thigh. Hard. And said, "they're trying to get me." And I laughed, and said, I'm sorry. And he rolled back over. That was incident one. Incident two was when at 3am he started cracking up! LOUD! As if he had just seen the funniest thing in the world. He laughed for like 5 minutes straight. And I laughed along with him. And then it was over. I asked him this morning, and he remembers neither of those things.

Now back to the baby who hates to sleep. Well, this week his fingers and toes are officially un-webbed. Or at least I will hope they are. He is the size of a fig, and some of his bones have begun to harden. He can open and close his fists, his ears are almost the shape they should be, and he has open nasal passages! It's crazy to me how much happens in just a week.

He certainly consumes every one of my thoughts.

Double Digits!!

Tomorrow we will be 10 weeks. I really like the sound of that. Things no longer seem "early" although I know they still are. I'm starting to feel pregnant now. I am constantly aware of my growing belly, even though it's not huge yet, I have to use a little extra effort to get up from being snuggled in the couch, I can feel it protruding when I'm standing, and I feel it lop to the side when I lay down. There's definitely something going on in there.  I love reading about what the baby's doing at the beginning of each new week. For example this week, the little one will get 25,000 new neurons a minute! He is getting taste and tooth buds, by the end of the week his upper lip will be complete, and he is now the size of a plum!! That's certainly a long way from the apple seed he used to be. 

And now on to the most fun part, the symptoms. I'm still sick, however with a twist! I got ONE day of relief last Thursday. It was absolutely magical. Of course it made me worry something wasn't right, but I decided to take advantage of it and do some cleaning. And can I just say thank God I did... Thursday night and Friday were an absolute nightmare. By far my sickest day to date. I kept nothing down, and did not get off the couch from noon until 7pm except to throw up which was quite often. My mom came up though, and when she got here I magically felt a little better - the baby must have been happy to see grandma. I have added some foods to my "edible list" - fruit being the one I'm most proud of! Not fresh, there's still something about the fresh fruit that makes me gag... but I'm loving the canned fruit cocktail. And I sit down and eat until the entire can is gone. I had a banana today so that also made me feel good about myself. Yogurt is creeping back into my appetite, as well as cereal, pop tarts, and McDonalds chicken nuggets. Hey, I'll take what I can get. And who knows, maybe things are looking up!! One can only hope.

I've got some new symptoms as we go into this 10th week. Headaches. Oh, man. I've never really had headaches, so maybe I'm just not used to them -but they are no fun. They usually come on in the afternoon or evening, and very little I can do about them. I've also caught myself flipping out on Kyle for no real reason. Poor guy. No dinner, and now I yell at him all the time. And I also tear up frequently... for no reason. That's a fun one since crying makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Kyle's still wonderful in case anyone's wondering. I feel bad though, because he makes a lot of my mcdonalds nugget runs, all the while he is trying to eat healthy...

That's all for now, kind of an abrupt ending - but I'm sick...and tired... see you in week 11.