Frustrated.

Not me for once! My daughter. You see, she would really like to be 14 instead of 4 months, and that is seriously cramping her style. She would love to walk… or crawl… or do anything other than roll as a means to get to where she needs to go. And since she can’t quite do those things yet, it is leaving her very frustrated. She grunts, and breathes heavy, and scowls, and whines… and I must say, it is very annoying. I feel bad for her; I wish I could help her along. But alas, all I can do is sit and watch – and endure the whining. Someday, someday soon she’ll be big enough to do those things and as happy as I am to see that day, I know we will really be in for it once she gets going.

Leah grew up this week. A lot. Not just in age (the big 20), but in maturity. In addition to being frustrated that her body is smaller than her mind, she has become quite independent. For instance, I can no longer rock her before her naps. I told you how I have been working on just putting her in her crib and letting her get herself to sleep? Well, that has backfired on me. Even just this time last week I could rock her for a few minutes and put her in her crib awake and she would fall asleep. Somewhere in the middle of last week, however, that changed. Now she isn’t having any of it. She screams when I rock her. Literally. Not cries, actually screams. Shrieks. Squeals. Yells. Whatever you want to call it, there are some serious sounds that come out of her little mouth when I try to rock her. And I must admit it makes me a little sad. Sure, my job got a little easier, but I really enjoyed rocking her. Oh well, I guess that’s part of growing up. I did get a fun tradeoff for not being able to rock her though. Now I get to listen to her talk herself to sleep. It cracks me up. Usually for a good five or ten minutes she just babbles and babbles. Lord knows who or what she’s talking to, but she is certainly entertaining herself… and her mom. Sometimes she throws in a squeal or two, or even a stray cry here and there, but eventually all I hear is silence.

Speaking of squealing, that’s also a new event of the last week or so. Who taught her how to squeal?? I’m not complaining; I love it! She has gotten so much more vocal it seems in just the last few days. She is definitely well on her way to talking. I feel like she will be the kid that doesn’t stop talking and asks a million questions. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.

She is still working on some more teeth. I think I’ve forgotten what life was like before teeth, and that is helping me get through the process. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to not be bitten or to sleep through the night or to not hear screams out of nowhere. Who decided we need teeth anyways? I’d like to give that person a talking to. God? You and I are going to have a long discussion when I meet you.

Last night was her best night in over a month. She only woke up twice, and with five hours in between. Hallelujah. It was either the teeth giving her a break, the ridiculous amount of sweet potatoes she ate to give her a full belly, or the fact that we finally set up a space heater in her room (it’s the coldest in the house for some reason). Whatever the reason, I plan on re-enacting yesterday all day today and see if we can’t get the same result tonight.

Did you catch the part about sweet potatoes?! I think it’s safe to say Leah has a new favorite food. Not like she has too many to choose from, this is the third thing she’s ever eaten and the first real people food. She gobbled those suckers up! And insisted on helping me with the spoon… which was a nightmare. But we had fun. She ate her whole bowl, for the first time ever, and then puked. I call that a successful meal. Tonight I suppose I’ll limit her now that I’ve learned the result of an extremely full belly. I’m thinking next up on the menu is green beans! They say babies like what their mama’s eat while they were pregnant and it proved true with sweet potatoes so I’m hoping it will prove true again with green beans. I’m giving her only vegetables until she eats a wide variety, then we’ll switch to fruit. I don’t want to spoil her with only sweet things.

I’m so excited to spend a first holiday with her this week. And on her 20^th week birthday no less. I remember like it was yesterday being 20 weeks pregnant with her. It was Valentines Day, and I had just found out a few days before that “he” was a she! That’s when the fun really started. Now we’re on the other end of 20 weeks and I’ve got a frustrated, squealing, babbling, eating, wonderful little girl. It’s almost unreal how much can change in mere “weeks.”

I have been seriously lacking the conversations the past couple of weeks. But we were working on teeth, there wasn’t a lot of time for anything else. But I’ve had my ears up, and I’ve got a couple for you.

Me: What are we doing for New Years?

Kyle: Nothing. Staying in. We have a bedtime at like 6 o’clock.

Me: We all don’t have to go to bed at “6” – just one of us.

Kyle: Nope, we all do.

This one is going to take some explaining. Kyle and I each have roles for the bedtime routine. He takes her clothes off/entertains her while I fill the tub, get the jammies and towel. I do the bath. I take her out of the tub, dry her, put lotion on and fight with her to get jammies on. He hangs up the towel and throws her diaper away. He picks her up and talks to her while I get ready to feed her. I feed her, he puts her to bed. One night, we decided to switch. He was getting her jammies on. I went to sit down.

Kyle: You forgot to throw her diaper away.

Me: (As I go to throw it away). Oh, my bad.

Kyle: See, my jobs not as easy as it looks, is it?!

Me: Roll my eyes on the way to the trash can.