The One You've Been Waiting For

Well, here it is. I couldn't take it any longer. This has been the only thing I have wanted to blog about for the past 7 weeks, and I wouldn't dare write another blog in front of it. Nothing else will ever be as special or important as this blog.

We're pregnant. I know, you all knew, but I feel like I have to put that somewhere in here. So now that that's out of the way:

I have made myself crazy over writing this blog. Do I write it this early? Do I risk all of the emotion I feel knowing how much can happen? Should I just wait for one more doctors appointment? I somehow felt like by writing this blog I would be jinxing everything, and something terrible would happen. But alas, I can't hold it in any longer. And I have come to grips with the fact that this baby is God's and if for whatever reason of His choosing He takes him back to Heaven I will feel content knowing that the little one was just too perfect for earth and will make a wonderful angel for us. Although, believe you me... we are hoping and praying that he is growing and developing wonderfully in there. For now, I have made it my mission to not worry unless I have a visible sign for concern. So far, so good - so we are a very, very excited couple of Proebstings!

If there’s one thing you learn about getting pregnant on accident it’s that you actually have very little to do with the whole process. I mean, sure there’s the two of you, but with so many things that have to line up at just the right time… there’s no way that Kyle and I created this little person all on our own. Someone else had a hand it in. Someone else had a hand in the timing. Kyle and I have been putting off getting a puppy because we didn’t think we had the time, space, or money to get one. See what I mean… jokes on us. But we are going with the thought that that someone else who had a hand in this believes this is the perfect time, we have the perfect amount of space, and the perfect amount of money. So for that we are blessed. How cool is it that the God that created each of us, and the God that brought us together thinks we are the perfect people to bring a little one into the world right now?? Very cool.

So the shock has worn off, the disbelief has been overcome, and we are happy. So very happy.

I spend my days researching cribs, and car seats, and bottles. We dream of what he will look like, and what he will do with this life. I hope he has his daddy’s honest eyes and warm smile, but my normal sized ears. I pray that he gets Kyle’s math skills, but my common sense. We hope that he loves animals and will someday have a wonderful playmate in his chocolate lab brother Duncan. We can’t wait to share the Cardinals and the Blues with him, and have already decided that he will have a Fredbird and a Louie in his crib. We’ve got big plans for this little guy, but we can’t wait to see the plans he gives us.

I suppose I should spend some time explaining why I just repeatedly called him a “he” when in reality we don’t know what’s in there yet. Well it’s simple. I’m not going to call him an it. And for the entire time Kyle and I have been together we have only ever talked about Jack. He’s always been a boy to us, and I’m not going to change that now when there is actually something in there! And that is not to say that we are “willing” him to be a boy, or that we will be devastated if he is not… I can assure we will be just as excited with a little Leah… but until the doctor tells us otherwise, Jack it is. And the Chinese gender predictor said boy, so there’s that.

I had an ultrasound early on to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, and things looked great. I actually talked to the nurse today about it - and she told me that things looked normal, but that I was a week behind what they originally thought. Bummer. Oh well, I have come to terms with the fact that I will be reliving week 7 again. As long as he's happy and content, I'll give him all the weeks he needs. His new birthday is supposed to be July 5, 2011... and I'm realllly hoping he's not a holiday baby, but I suppose that by the time July actually rolls around I won't care which day he comes out on. 

Though it's not included in this blog, I do have one coming soon telling you about allll the fun I've been having growing a baby - get excited.