One Month Down - The Rest of Our Lives to Go

Can you believe it? We’ve kept her alive a whole month! High fives all around.

What a fun month it’s been. And I actually mean that. There were the exhausting times, the screaming fits (by mom and Leah), the frustration, and the lack of sleep – but there was also the first day home, the first night in the crib, the first bath, the first smile, the first coo, the first turning her head to listen to us, the first car ride to calm her down, and the many naps on moms chest. And those things far outweigh the first group.

It’s funny what you can learn about someone who can’t talk. The first couple weeks of Leah’s life I just cracked every cry up to mean, “I’m hungry.” Somewhere around the 3^rd week I started to try and interpret them and see if I could actually see what she wants. And do you know what? She actually has different cries! For instance, if she wants to eat she bleats like a goat. If I let her go too long she gets mad, but in the beginning it’s just funny. If she’s too full she shakes her head back and forth along with a cry that sounds like a cough. As if she’s saying, “mom, stop it – I’m drowning over here.” If she’s tired her cry is very whiney and almost sounds like she’s saying, noooo or naaaah. Haha, which, given her hatred of sleep, she probably is. If she wants to change positions, her cry is short, but her hands start flailing around.  And if she’s in pain, it’s just one single loud shriek. Luckily, I hear that one the least. And I am more than used to the tired cry. It was when I started actually trying to listen to her that I started to feel like a mom. I don’t know if I ever really will, but have to rely just on the sounds of different cries definitely put my “mothering instincts” to the test. It was kind of fun, and now I don’t constantly think she’s hungry. Thank God.

Maybe what was more fun that trying to figure out her cries was trying to figure out how to calm her down. And by fun, I mean exhausting. But we’re a pretty smart, innovative couple of Proebstings, and we’ve come up with some good strategies. For instance, if we want her to sleep comfortably in her crib: naturally, Kyle will rub his socks on himself to get his scent on them, which in turn will comfort her and we will have a sleeping baby. (Have I mentioned how much I love him)? If she is screaming in the car: turn the radio on one of the 75 AM channels that don’t work anyways and blare the white noise. If she falls asleep in her car seat: For the love of God don’t take her out, simply shut her in the bathroom with the fan on, that will keep her nice and asleep. If rocking doesn’t work: bounce on the exercise ball until you can’t feel your legs. That’s usually the amount of time it takes for her to be asleep. And as a bonus, rock.hard.abs. If she wakes up from a nap earlier than she should: Do not make eye contact! Put her to your chest immediately and rock her back to sleep. And for the witching hour: It’s a crap shoot. Just get through it.

Holding Leah is very strange sometimes. Especially when her ultra sound picture, or one of our maternity pictures is in my view. It’s so very weird/wonderful that that belly was holding this perfect little baby that I get to hold now. Or that the little black and white body in her ultra sound picture turned out to be this little girl with chubby cheeks, blue eyes, and male pattern baldness. Everything about being pregnant, and then actually having the baby is so surreal. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over it. Speaking of which, I am so ready to be pregnant again. Calm down, Kyle – I don’t want another baby yet. I just miss having a little someone in my belly. I miss everything about it. I walk past the maternity section of target and get sad I can’t shop there anymore. I look at my belly pictures and would trade my normal stomach for that one in a heartbeat. If I think about it too much I could probably start crying. But I will get there again someday, and in the meantime, I have Leah to keep me occupied.

And occupy my time she does.

Here’s what I have learned about that little girl I grew for nine months:

• ·         She still hates sleep. That’s never going to change.
• ·         She will fight sleep with every ounce of strength she has. She kicks her legs, grunts, and makes her face turn a lovely shade of maroon. I’ve never seen anything like it.
• ·         She likes one kind of pacifier. I need to just throw the rest out.
• ·         She’s working on her bottle skills, but it turns out to be more of a mess than anything. Maybe someday.
• ·         She loves to sit. Sitting can take her from screaming to silent in seconds.
• ·         Kicking is her movement of choice. We’ve got a soccer player on our hands.
• ·         She is a morning person. She gives me her best and brightest smiles at 7am.
• ·         She is not a newborn. No more newborn diapers, no more newborn clothes.
• ·         She has finally learned that getting in her car seat means she is going in the car. Thus ending screaming in her car seat.
• ·         She loves TV. And will turn her head as far around as she can get it to be able to see the tv.
• ·         She loves her book of black and white patterns and her little yellow puppy.
• ·         She gets the hiccups every time she eats. And most of the time they make her mad.
• ·         If she doesn’t sleep well during the day, she doesn’t sleep well at night. Which makes me obsessive about naps.
• ·         She loves to look out the window, house or car.
• ·         She has a birth mark behind her ear.
• ·         She can track things with her eyes, turn her head to look at us, smile, coo, and lift her head up like a pro.

This list grows daily. With everything she’s doing now, I can only imagine what she’ll be doing at six months!

Well, it’s been a month since I had a baby ripped out of me. And I think I’m fully recovered. Ok, maybe not fully because my stomach is still so tender. It feels like I have a constant rug burn. But besides that, things are great. I’ve got a killer scar. I’ve lost all pregnancy weight, plus a couple pounds. Have a kid, it’s the best diet around. I usually eat breakfast around 11, lunch is usually a graham cracker, and dinner is whatever is easiest. Remember how much I wanted cereal when I was pregnant? That craving has left the building. I really have no desire to eat it anymore. Ever. But I traded that craving for soda?! That is just not okay. But I find myself driving to sonic more than I should to get my fix. I bought my first non maternity clothes since last October. I had to try on all the sizes, I had no idea what I’d be. Turns out, I’m the same size I used to be. I guess that’s good, but I would still rather dress a pregnant me. I’m getting better at showering. It happens almost daily now! Everyone is happier for that. I’m adjusting to sleep without my snoogle. I’m definitely happy to be a stomach sleeper again, but I’ve noticed I’m not sleeping as soundly as I did before. But then again, that could be the baby in the next room. Today I will be getting out all my old pants/shorts to see if I can get them buttoned. I’m not sure I even remember how to work a button, but we shall see. Here’s to hoping. If I can button pants, I will officially be back to my old self.

Well it’s Leah’s lunch time. And like clockwork, she is starting to bleat. I suppose I better go get my little goat :). Until next time - Whenever that may be.