5:15.
I count down the minutes until 5:15pm now. It's a scary time of day in our household. Bad things happen at 5:15, very bad things. Things grow dark and grim - we enter the witching hour.
Call it fussy time, the witching hour, colic, or just crying - but Leah starts in with inconsolable tears at 5:15 every night. It was a little alarming at first - to have a screaming baby and not be able to help her. She was fed, changed, swaddled, rocked, shhh'd, bounced, sang to, and walked around with - nothing worked. It was also heartbreaking. How can we not fix this? Something must be terribly wrong. She must be in pain, or based on her crying... dying. And last but not least, it was stressful. It was stressful because it was both alarming and heartbreaking. She would just scream from 5:15 to 10pm. That can definitely wear you down - or at least it did me. Kyle was a little better with it, but by the end of the night I was just exhausted from my day. Heaven forbid I didn't get much sleep the night before, Leah and I were both in tears from 5:15 to 10.
But all of that changed yesterday. We figured out her pattern. I was ready for her. I knew that starting at 5:15, it would have to be all hands on deck. I got out the gripe water I bought before she was born. I researched different ways to calm fussing babies. I re-read The Happiest Baby on the Block. And I psyched myself up. I had a great nights sleep last night, so it made all of this much more doable. God bless her for sleeping like she does.
When I woke up yesterday I had 5:15 on the brain. I knew it was coming, it always does. I woke up ready for it. Leah woke up like her normal happy self. She ate and was back asleep in a record 23 minutes! I knew from then on it would be a success. We had such a good day together. She was sweet and cuddly. She ate well like always, and fell asleep pretty darn good. She had good naps, and during her playtime we made lots of eye contact and she gave me some smiles and some coo's. Kyle got home at 4:30, and started to wake her up to eat. This is her last meal before the world comes crashing down. We made sure to get in some good playtime before she ate. She ate well. I knew I could check hunger off the list of things to be concerned about when she did start crying. The minutes passed by and before we knew it... 5:15.
And like clockwork the little bug started in. We started out slow. Tried a nap on mom's chest (normally a favorite), tried walking around, tried burping, changed the diaper, rocked.. no dice. I expected that though. Then we went into hyper mode. Things turned into a regular freak show around here. I read in my book to use vigor. Apparently, the cave women didn't tip toe around babies, and neither should we. Leah has been used loud noises and jerky movements during her stay in my belly. So vigor I used. I first put her in her bouncer. And I bounced that thing so hard it could have been a ride at Six Flags. Her head actually bounced up a couple of times - ha - please don't turn me in. But guess what, she was quiet. So I kept it up. But, soon enough the tears came back. On to other solutions. Kyle took her and I got the gripe water. He calmed her down enough for her to actually swallow it, which was pretty funny to watch. Poor thing had no idea what she was swallowing. The tears came back, so while he continued to hold her I got out the vacuum. Loud noises seem to really calm her down, plus our carpets were really dirty. I was actually excited about getting to vacuum. I turned it on and almost instantly the tears stopped. However, we don't have that much space to vacuum. So when I finished and turned it off... the tears came right back. So I turned it on again and just let it sit there. There was only so much of this noise Kyle and I could take - so it had to go off again. And the tears came back. Kyle had a brilliant plan of downloading white noise to his iPod and playing it for her downstairs. While he was upstairs doing that - I was downstairs with my vigor. I decided to swing her from side to side as hard as I could (again, don't turn me in) - while shushing her. And do you know what? It worked! She was going violently from side to side, but all indications pointed to the fact that she was okay with it. She was calm, and her eyes were even closing little by little. In the meantime, I was sweating. Well, we were both sweating. It's hard work to cry for hours, and it's even harder work to try and stop that crying. But as I was making a fool of myself swaying as hard as I could from side to side, my baby was falling asleep! I didn't care that my hair had come out of its ponytail and was all over my face; and sticking there thanks to the sweat. I didn't care that my glasses had slid all the way down my nose. I didn't care that I was getting dizzy from the motion. I didn't care that my knees and ankles hurt. I didn't care that she was laying right on my incision. She was peaceful. And her little eyes were rolling to sleep. After 20 minutes of this nonsense, I noticed her getting into a deeper sleep. But right before she drifted off, she gave me something that made up for all of the exhaustion. She gave me a smile full of gums. Maybe her biggest yet. I don't know if she thinks she's funny, if she thinks this is a fun game, or if she was happy to have non stop attention - but with that smile I fell a little more in love with her. She finally closed both eyes, and I pried her white knuckled grip from my shirt. I pulled her off my body and laughed at the pool of sweat that separated us. She was asleep and I marveled at her. Despite her crying, despite the exhaustion, she's ours. And she's not going anywhere. And I still like her quite a bit.
Like all good things do, her sleep ended. She gave us a good 30 minutes, but then it was back to the routine. Surprisingly though, everyone remained calm. Even Leah for the most part. The rest of the night consisted of little bouts of hysterics, but for the most part, she was just awake. And we decided to just embrace it. We played with her and laughed with (and at) her. She watched the Cardinals game with us. She watched Albert intently, and cried when John Jay came to bat. We couldn't hear it though, as we had the white noise he downloaded blaring. Between the white noise blaring downstairs and her waves blaring upstairs it's a wonder any of us can hear. I actually texted him even though we were sitting on the same couch together. But when something is working - you don't stop. We held her and rocked her. I got to watch Kyle sway her violently from side to side, and let me tell you - that would put anyone in a good mood. Complete with white socks pulled to the middle of his calves, and black sandles on so he could get a better grip, I was laughing hysterically at both of them. He even showed off some spin moves. We put her in bed with us and talked to her. Kyle posed her and then we watched her fall over. And when she did cry, we didn't freak out. Sure, we tried to continue to soothe her, but if it didn't work she was okay just to cry for a couple minutes. We actually played a game to see who would cave at the crying first: me, Kyle, or Leah. Leah lost every time. Good thing, cause if she didn't stop I would have definitely been next. The thing is; she wasn't hungry, she wasn't sick, she wasn't in pain, and she wasn't scared. This is just our Leah. And something she does, and something she will grow out of. And we will love her regardless. Finally, ten o'clock came and as suddenly as it started, it ended. With one more fit of crying, she was done. Kyle put her in her crib, and we all went to bed. 3:30am came next, and she was up for a snack. And regardless of her previous antics, I went to get her, gave her a smile, a kiss on the forehead, told her it was okay, and she settled in to eat. And just like that my baby was back to normal.
And now we wait, 5:15 is coming for us.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Don't Get Frustrated.
Oh, this child is a piece of work! A wonderful, cute piece of work I should say - but exhausting none the less. If only I could let her stay awake all day life would be easier. However, we've tried just letting her stay up and we've tried doing whatever it takes for however long to get her to close her eyes, and I must say - I would rather just put in the time and get her to sleep then let her stay up and deal with the consequences later.
Don't get frustrated. Easier said than done, my friends. And that phrase is now a running joke in the Proebsting household. I actually remember the first time it was said. Leah was frantically trying to eat, not understanding she just needed to calm.down. I was sweating and frustrated. Kyle, as well meaning as ever, looks at me and says, "try not to get frustrated." I glared at him. It's one thing to say it when you're looking from afar. I learned that as I watched him becoming increasingly frustrated as he was going on an hour of trying to get her to even relax her eyes. Out of my mouth rolled, "don't get frustrated." And I got glared at. I think it's safe to say we both get it now. It is frustrating, and we are entitled to get frustrated. Now we use it as a joke, and it does lighten the mood, so for that I'm thankful. What a little pill she is.
I think we've started to get a little bit of a handle on her. Maybe. Minus the evening hours, she's not all that hard. She just hates to fall asleep. We've figured out some things that work and some things that don't. Some things work for Kyle and don't work at all for me and vise versa. If it wasn't as exhausting as it is, it would be kinda fun to play this trial and error game. It is very rewarding when we find something that works. For instance, I have had great success with her falling asleep on my chest. Probably because I smell like food to her. Kyle, however, has tried it and all she wants to do is tummy time on his chest. He has great success putting her on her side; she screams when I do it. Rocking her works better for me, bouncing her works better for him. I don't know what it is, or why she does some things for one of us and not the other, but I'm sure glad there are two of us! There are some things that don't work for either of us, though. One being the swing. She hates it. Today she actually screamed when I put her in it, neat. Anyone want a brand new swing? She also can't just lay by herself to fall asleep. She just plays with her hands and looks around. With all the work it takes to get her to sleep, once she actually falls asleep she is a great sleeper! She is sleeping in five and sometimes six hour stretches at night! For that I will always be grateful.
Leah is going to be three weeks old in two days! I feel like all I do is count in weeks. 40 weeks of pregnancy, and now it starts all over again. When do the weeks stop? But, being the big girl that she is, she has experienced some firsts this week. The first and most exciting being a bath! Oh my goodness, she loved it. I was a little nervous. I still remember my nieces first bath... it did not go well. But Leah calmly took it in for a few minutes and then starting moving and kicking around. I wish she could have one everyday, we had as much fun as she did. And it calmed her down, something not easily done at night. She experienced her first drive to get her to fall asleep. She got way to tired and entered the frantic stage and we were obviously getting nowhere with her. So we loaded up the car and drove around. We came home with a sleeping Leah, mission accomplished. She now has a bedtime. Whether or not she actually falls asleep, (sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't), we are upstairs eating a bedtime snack at 7/730, getting PJs on, reading a story, and saying prayers. And if all goes smoothly, she is in bed by eight. This bedtime means all three Proebstings have to be home by 7, but what did we have to do anyways? We are determined to get it to work. Being three weeks old means she gets a little more time to be awake. I'm not in such a rush to get her back to sleep, although I know when she yawns I have limited time. We play for a few minutes before she eats, and she gets to practice some tummy time. And I've broken out her black and white books! She is also officially out of newborn clothes. She's growing like a weed, so we broke out the three month stuff. We try not to think of the fact that she wore her newborn stuff for a total of two weeks. Three weeks is exciting, but I really can't get over the fact that she will be a month old in a week!
Her mama also had some firsts this week. I drove myself to the grocery store (across the street). After not driving for three weeks, it was actually really weird. I also left her for the first time on that outing! Don't worry, she was asleep and with Kyle (I'm still nowhere near ready for a babysitter). All fifteen minutes I was at the store I felt like I left my arm at home. I kinda don't know what to do without her. Also on this trip I learned something sad. I can't park in the expectant mother parking spot anymore. Rats. I also gave up the snoogle for a real pillow. It was a little sad, but I really wanted to try sleeping on my stomach again! It was a little painful as much incision is still really tender, but it felt so.good. Even with the pain. I bought lunch meat for the first time in 42 weeks. And I didn't have to worry about heating it up. I'm so happy to have sandwiches back in my diet! Jimmy Johns, I'm coming for you.
We had a doctors appointment today. Yes, still. And it was weird for a number of reasons. 1) Leah was there in a car seat and not in my belly. 2) I didn't have to pee in a cup 3) They didn't check for her heartbeat. Which kind of made me sad. 4) I realized that it was three weeks ago today we were in that office and learned we would be going to have her. And this last thing wasn't weird, but wonderful: I had to get on the scale. Drumroll please... I only have three pounds to lose to be at my pre-pregnancy weight! I give all credit to Leah and her round the clock needs that leave me forgetting to eat. But all in all, the appointment was good. My incision was good. I learned I can drive, but I can still not lift her and her car seat, thus making driving almost irrelevant. At least during the day. I go back in another month, and then I think after that I'm actually done for a whole year! Given there are no more baby Proebstings in the mix...
So here we sit. She is work. She is exhausting. But she is still fun. And cute. And we have so many good moments and laughs throughout the day - they make it all worthwhile. She smiles as she's falling asleep and my heart melts. She wakes up bright eyed every morning, and it reminds me that life is so much better with her here. She turns her head to look when she hears us talking; I love watching her figure out her new world. She watches Kathy Lee and Hoda as well as Ellen with me everyday - and she makes those shows just that much better.Stay tuned for the next blog, she gives me a little more to write about everyday.
In the meantime, anyone want a swing?
Don't get frustrated. Easier said than done, my friends. And that phrase is now a running joke in the Proebsting household. I actually remember the first time it was said. Leah was frantically trying to eat, not understanding she just needed to calm.down. I was sweating and frustrated. Kyle, as well meaning as ever, looks at me and says, "try not to get frustrated." I glared at him. It's one thing to say it when you're looking from afar. I learned that as I watched him becoming increasingly frustrated as he was going on an hour of trying to get her to even relax her eyes. Out of my mouth rolled, "don't get frustrated." And I got glared at. I think it's safe to say we both get it now. It is frustrating, and we are entitled to get frustrated. Now we use it as a joke, and it does lighten the mood, so for that I'm thankful. What a little pill she is.
I think we've started to get a little bit of a handle on her. Maybe. Minus the evening hours, she's not all that hard. She just hates to fall asleep. We've figured out some things that work and some things that don't. Some things work for Kyle and don't work at all for me and vise versa. If it wasn't as exhausting as it is, it would be kinda fun to play this trial and error game. It is very rewarding when we find something that works. For instance, I have had great success with her falling asleep on my chest. Probably because I smell like food to her. Kyle, however, has tried it and all she wants to do is tummy time on his chest. He has great success putting her on her side; she screams when I do it. Rocking her works better for me, bouncing her works better for him. I don't know what it is, or why she does some things for one of us and not the other, but I'm sure glad there are two of us! There are some things that don't work for either of us, though. One being the swing. She hates it. Today she actually screamed when I put her in it, neat. Anyone want a brand new swing? She also can't just lay by herself to fall asleep. She just plays with her hands and looks around. With all the work it takes to get her to sleep, once she actually falls asleep she is a great sleeper! She is sleeping in five and sometimes six hour stretches at night! For that I will always be grateful.
Leah is going to be three weeks old in two days! I feel like all I do is count in weeks. 40 weeks of pregnancy, and now it starts all over again. When do the weeks stop? But, being the big girl that she is, she has experienced some firsts this week. The first and most exciting being a bath! Oh my goodness, she loved it. I was a little nervous. I still remember my nieces first bath... it did not go well. But Leah calmly took it in for a few minutes and then starting moving and kicking around. I wish she could have one everyday, we had as much fun as she did. And it calmed her down, something not easily done at night. She experienced her first drive to get her to fall asleep. She got way to tired and entered the frantic stage and we were obviously getting nowhere with her. So we loaded up the car and drove around. We came home with a sleeping Leah, mission accomplished. She now has a bedtime. Whether or not she actually falls asleep, (sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't), we are upstairs eating a bedtime snack at 7/730, getting PJs on, reading a story, and saying prayers. And if all goes smoothly, she is in bed by eight. This bedtime means all three Proebstings have to be home by 7, but what did we have to do anyways? We are determined to get it to work. Being three weeks old means she gets a little more time to be awake. I'm not in such a rush to get her back to sleep, although I know when she yawns I have limited time. We play for a few minutes before she eats, and she gets to practice some tummy time. And I've broken out her black and white books! She is also officially out of newborn clothes. She's growing like a weed, so we broke out the three month stuff. We try not to think of the fact that she wore her newborn stuff for a total of two weeks. Three weeks is exciting, but I really can't get over the fact that she will be a month old in a week!
Her mama also had some firsts this week. I drove myself to the grocery store (across the street). After not driving for three weeks, it was actually really weird. I also left her for the first time on that outing! Don't worry, she was asleep and with Kyle (I'm still nowhere near ready for a babysitter). All fifteen minutes I was at the store I felt like I left my arm at home. I kinda don't know what to do without her. Also on this trip I learned something sad. I can't park in the expectant mother parking spot anymore. Rats. I also gave up the snoogle for a real pillow. It was a little sad, but I really wanted to try sleeping on my stomach again! It was a little painful as much incision is still really tender, but it felt so.good. Even with the pain. I bought lunch meat for the first time in 42 weeks. And I didn't have to worry about heating it up. I'm so happy to have sandwiches back in my diet! Jimmy Johns, I'm coming for you.
We had a doctors appointment today. Yes, still. And it was weird for a number of reasons. 1) Leah was there in a car seat and not in my belly. 2) I didn't have to pee in a cup 3) They didn't check for her heartbeat. Which kind of made me sad. 4) I realized that it was three weeks ago today we were in that office and learned we would be going to have her. And this last thing wasn't weird, but wonderful: I had to get on the scale. Drumroll please... I only have three pounds to lose to be at my pre-pregnancy weight! I give all credit to Leah and her round the clock needs that leave me forgetting to eat. But all in all, the appointment was good. My incision was good. I learned I can drive, but I can still not lift her and her car seat, thus making driving almost irrelevant. At least during the day. I go back in another month, and then I think after that I'm actually done for a whole year! Given there are no more baby Proebstings in the mix...
So here we sit. She is work. She is exhausting. But she is still fun. And cute. And we have so many good moments and laughs throughout the day - they make it all worthwhile. She smiles as she's falling asleep and my heart melts. She wakes up bright eyed every morning, and it reminds me that life is so much better with her here. She turns her head to look when she hears us talking; I love watching her figure out her new world. She watches Kathy Lee and Hoda as well as Ellen with me everyday - and she makes those shows just that much better.Stay tuned for the next blog, she gives me a little more to write about everyday.
In the meantime, anyone want a swing?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be?
Well folks, we are at two weeks and growing! It still seems like she's been here forever, but somehow at the same time I can't believe she's already been with us for two weeks. These two weeks have flown. And for nostalgia's sake: Two weeks ago today at this very moment I was quite literally dying. I had been having awful contractions for an hour, and was probably in the process of getting my first epidural. Little did I know, it wouldn't work and I would have to go through the same process two more times. For a total of three hours! I'm really quite surprised I'm still here to talk about it. Ha. Actually, do you know what's funny? In just two weeks, I can honestly say I don't remember the pain. Sure, I know it was the worst, most horrible thing I've ever experienced, but as far as the actual pain... I have no recollection of what it actually felt like. I've tried in my head to relive it, and I just can't. There's nothing there. I suppose that is God's way of making sure people keep having babies. It's a cruel little game He plays, really.
But let's not focus on the past. The present is much more fun these days! Life with the bug is a trip. Somehow without words, or even coordinated movements, she is the funniest little thing on the planet. She absolutely lights up my days. If you're friends with me on facebook, you've seen the album of her faces - and I must say - that is just the tip of the iceberg with this child. She has millions of faces, each one better than the last. I don't know where she gets them, or if she means anything by them, but they sure make us laugh. And although her mouth doesn't quite smile yet - her eyes pick up the slack. Her pretty blue eyes just glisten when we talk to her as if she knows exactly what we're saying and just how happy she is making us.
And it's taken me two weeks, but I think I'm on to her! Here's what I know about her so far:
If you know that song, you might be wondering to yourself why the last line looks funny. Well, that's because I couldn't remember that line so I made up a line. And it works for Leah and I so don't judge me. Anyways, in signing that song she calms down fairly quickly and usually will go to sleep in a reasonable amount of time. And when you've got a child that hates sleep you do whatever it takes. So if singing that song 727 times gets my baby to sleep... that's what I'll do.
Before I wrap this up - this little girls mama also reached some milestones today! I can take a bath again (not that I have time), and am allowed to drive again! Although, I still can't lift Leah's car seat, so I don't know how I'd get us anywhere. I suppose I could just leave her at home, but some people might frown on that. I can sit up from bed without feeling like my insides are going to rip out, I can sneeze without yelping in pain, and I haven't had a pain pill in two days! I suppose I'm on the mend. I go to the doctor on Tuesday and I'm anxious to see what she says about my healing - and also to show Leah off! I'll have to pick her out and extra cute outfit.
Well Kyle is back at work, and Grandma left us (come back grandma!) - so I'm officially on my own. I think I got this. She's a pretty easy baby, minus the refusing to sleep. But we're getting a handle on that. I'm actually excited to not have visitors at least for a couple days. I'm excited to try to get us in a routine, and get used to hanging out with her on my own. We've got a lot of TV watching to do. Hopefully she likes Kathy Lee and Hoda! With 45 minutes until her next meal, I'm gonna soak up some "me time." Until next time.
But let's not focus on the past. The present is much more fun these days! Life with the bug is a trip. Somehow without words, or even coordinated movements, she is the funniest little thing on the planet. She absolutely lights up my days. If you're friends with me on facebook, you've seen the album of her faces - and I must say - that is just the tip of the iceberg with this child. She has millions of faces, each one better than the last. I don't know where she gets them, or if she means anything by them, but they sure make us laugh. And although her mouth doesn't quite smile yet - her eyes pick up the slack. Her pretty blue eyes just glisten when we talk to her as if she knows exactly what we're saying and just how happy she is making us.
And it's taken me two weeks, but I think I'm on to her! Here's what I know about her so far:
- She hates to sleep. She would love to be awake like a big girl all day and night. I really should not be surprised by this, however, I blogged about her incessant moving for the past nine months.
- She will get the hiccups after every meal. And they are violent. Poor little bug. I also shouldn't be surprised by this either, she got the hiccups every time I ate when she was in my belly.
- She has learned that I am her source of food. And when she comes to me for a meal her hands start flailing in excitement and her mouth opens wide.
- She thinks she's older than two weeks. She would love to sit up, talk, and move around on her own. And actually, she gives it a pretty good try. I am fully expecting her to be rolling over by next week.
- Her cord fell off! Thank.Goodness. I have been obsessed with that nasty little thing since we got home. But I am happy to announce yesterday it fell off onto the floor. And just like that she is a real person. Which also means she can have a bath now! Hmm... this weekend? I think so!
- She likes car rides! She's so good. She just sits and looks around, and if we're really lucky she will fall asleep by the time we get home.
- She will go to the bathroom every time she eats, no need to change her before hand. And sometimes, just for fun, she will go twice.
- If I really want her to have a good nap, she must be in her crib. Although she sleeps down here, it's not the restful sleep I would like her to have, and it takes double the time to get her to actually fall asleep. So from here on out, we will be spending a lot more time in her room.
- She sleeps like a champ at night. Again, besides the getting to sleep, once she's there she goes for five hour stretches at night. Which means... mama only wakes up once in the middle of the night! Good.Girl.
- She has no genetic disorders! That's right, we got a call from her doctor yesterday and each one of the 27 diseases they test for came back negative. Thank you, Jesus, for a healthy little girl.
Oh dear, What can the matter be?
Oh dear, What can the matter be?
Oh dear, What can the matter be?
Oh little deary of mine.
If you know that song, you might be wondering to yourself why the last line looks funny. Well, that's because I couldn't remember that line so I made up a line. And it works for Leah and I so don't judge me. Anyways, in signing that song she calms down fairly quickly and usually will go to sleep in a reasonable amount of time. And when you've got a child that hates sleep you do whatever it takes. So if singing that song 727 times gets my baby to sleep... that's what I'll do.
Before I wrap this up - this little girls mama also reached some milestones today! I can take a bath again (not that I have time), and am allowed to drive again! Although, I still can't lift Leah's car seat, so I don't know how I'd get us anywhere. I suppose I could just leave her at home, but some people might frown on that. I can sit up from bed without feeling like my insides are going to rip out, I can sneeze without yelping in pain, and I haven't had a pain pill in two days! I suppose I'm on the mend. I go to the doctor on Tuesday and I'm anxious to see what she says about my healing - and also to show Leah off! I'll have to pick her out and extra cute outfit.
Well Kyle is back at work, and Grandma left us (come back grandma!) - so I'm officially on my own. I think I got this. She's a pretty easy baby, minus the refusing to sleep. But we're getting a handle on that. I'm actually excited to not have visitors at least for a couple days. I'm excited to try to get us in a routine, and get used to hanging out with her on my own. We've got a lot of TV watching to do. Hopefully she likes Kathy Lee and Hoda! With 45 minutes until her next meal, I'm gonna soak up some "me time." Until next time.
Friday, July 15, 2011
I Smell Like Milk.
Well, it's officially official... my life is not my own anymore.
I can't believe it's been a week. And not because it feels like "just yesterday," but because it feels like she's been here forever. Just seven days ago was our first real day with her. The first day we got a taste of everything she has to offer - and in just seven days I can't remember life before. What was it like to not smell like milk? To get a shower everyday? To go to bed at night and not wake up until morning? All of that is completely foreign now.
Seriously, what did I do with my days? I know it wasn't as productive as being a sole food source to an infant or changing diapers around the clock. I had time to facebook at my leisure, I had time to blog about nothing at all, and I had time to eat when I wanted! The other night it took me an hour and a half to upload new pictures. Why? Well, someone decided they were hungry an hour before it was time. Which lead to 15 minutes of head thrashing in excitement of her upcoming meal. The meal that (when she finally figured out if she would be still she could eat) prompted like clockwork a dirty diaper. Getting her diaper changed naturally turned into spitting up. Which lead to an outfit change, and drum roll please... another dirty diaper. And that was just the meal. Then there was the calming down, reswaddling, rocking, and praying for sleep. By that time the pictures seemed unnecessary, just let me sit already. Starting then I've watched my life redesign itself. Kyle has to remind me to eat. I have to make a conscious effort to take my pain pills. Naps always beat facebook. And try as I might, showers are just not a daily occurrence. Yet.
But there is an upside to the madness. And it comes in the form of something close to 9lbs, with pretty blue eyes and big.fat.cheeks. Man, she's fun. I had no idea what to expect. Imagine as I did, I had no idea who was coming our way. And I'm happy to announce, we got everything we didn't know we wanted. Her faces would put anyone in a good mood. She's got a million of them already, one of them we've learned to look out for. As if she's saying, "go get the diapers" her little lips form a tight little O shape. This look receives the same reaction from her parents each and every time. First we laugh, but it's quickly followed by an "awwww grosssss!" Her stretches are my favorite part of each day. I don't know why it's so cute. I certainly don't ooh and ahh when Kyle stretches. But her little arms and legs stretching to the moon paired with such a big yawn for such a little face just makes me melt. Starting a morning at 6am isn't so bad when I'm holding her. Even if she did just go to bed at two. Speaking of which, her favorite time of day is from 10pm-2am. She doesn't really cry or fuss either, just likes to be up, hanging out. Somehow we have got to fix that. I shouldn't be surprised though - I blogged about her lack of sleep for the last nine months. What makes me think she should be any different out of my belly? If we don't actively try to put her to sleep, she doesn't go. She would watch TV with us all day if we let her. Our afternoons consist of her napping on my chest. It has to be the best, most rewarding feeling out there. There's nothing like it - and I'm afraid I've started a bad habit, but there's no way I'm changing it. Who cares if I have a seven year old sleeping on my chest someday? I know I don't.
She's got a whole new set of nicknames in just seven days. Some of which are buggie, booger, little bug, and squirt. We are convinced she will grow up to hate lady bugs. I get completely wrapped up in sentimental moments. Random things just spark them, and I have no control over my emotions. Once it was a little smile after a big meal. Another time was glancing at her ring finger sticking up and thinking about her coming home one day with a ring on it. Still another was thinking about her crawling then walking. I really need to stop - it can't be healthy for me. Not that I want her to do any of those things anytime soon, but it's fun to imagine the future with her.
All in all, life is pretty great with the Proebstings right now. We all could use a little more sleep, but what's it really matter? The phrase, "sleep when she sleeps," is completely irrelevant... to me anyways. I want to soak up as much time with her as I can. And if she is sleeping during the day I want to pick up, facebook for as long as I want, or blog about just how great she is. I can live on four hours of sleep a night, right? I still kinda can't believe she's here. And she's ours, forever. But everyday it gets a little more real, everyday I fall a little deeper in love, and everyday I'm thankful for our little bug.
I can't believe it's been a week. And not because it feels like "just yesterday," but because it feels like she's been here forever. Just seven days ago was our first real day with her. The first day we got a taste of everything she has to offer - and in just seven days I can't remember life before. What was it like to not smell like milk? To get a shower everyday? To go to bed at night and not wake up until morning? All of that is completely foreign now.
Seriously, what did I do with my days? I know it wasn't as productive as being a sole food source to an infant or changing diapers around the clock. I had time to facebook at my leisure, I had time to blog about nothing at all, and I had time to eat when I wanted! The other night it took me an hour and a half to upload new pictures. Why? Well, someone decided they were hungry an hour before it was time. Which lead to 15 minutes of head thrashing in excitement of her upcoming meal. The meal that (when she finally figured out if she would be still she could eat) prompted like clockwork a dirty diaper. Getting her diaper changed naturally turned into spitting up. Which lead to an outfit change, and drum roll please... another dirty diaper. And that was just the meal. Then there was the calming down, reswaddling, rocking, and praying for sleep. By that time the pictures seemed unnecessary, just let me sit already. Starting then I've watched my life redesign itself. Kyle has to remind me to eat. I have to make a conscious effort to take my pain pills. Naps always beat facebook. And try as I might, showers are just not a daily occurrence. Yet.
But there is an upside to the madness. And it comes in the form of something close to 9lbs, with pretty blue eyes and big.fat.cheeks. Man, she's fun. I had no idea what to expect. Imagine as I did, I had no idea who was coming our way. And I'm happy to announce, we got everything we didn't know we wanted. Her faces would put anyone in a good mood. She's got a million of them already, one of them we've learned to look out for. As if she's saying, "go get the diapers" her little lips form a tight little O shape. This look receives the same reaction from her parents each and every time. First we laugh, but it's quickly followed by an "awwww grosssss!" Her stretches are my favorite part of each day. I don't know why it's so cute. I certainly don't ooh and ahh when Kyle stretches. But her little arms and legs stretching to the moon paired with such a big yawn for such a little face just makes me melt. Starting a morning at 6am isn't so bad when I'm holding her. Even if she did just go to bed at two. Speaking of which, her favorite time of day is from 10pm-2am. She doesn't really cry or fuss either, just likes to be up, hanging out. Somehow we have got to fix that. I shouldn't be surprised though - I blogged about her lack of sleep for the last nine months. What makes me think she should be any different out of my belly? If we don't actively try to put her to sleep, she doesn't go. She would watch TV with us all day if we let her. Our afternoons consist of her napping on my chest. It has to be the best, most rewarding feeling out there. There's nothing like it - and I'm afraid I've started a bad habit, but there's no way I'm changing it. Who cares if I have a seven year old sleeping on my chest someday? I know I don't.
She's got a whole new set of nicknames in just seven days. Some of which are buggie, booger, little bug, and squirt. We are convinced she will grow up to hate lady bugs. I get completely wrapped up in sentimental moments. Random things just spark them, and I have no control over my emotions. Once it was a little smile after a big meal. Another time was glancing at her ring finger sticking up and thinking about her coming home one day with a ring on it. Still another was thinking about her crawling then walking. I really need to stop - it can't be healthy for me. Not that I want her to do any of those things anytime soon, but it's fun to imagine the future with her.
All in all, life is pretty great with the Proebstings right now. We all could use a little more sleep, but what's it really matter? The phrase, "sleep when she sleeps," is completely irrelevant... to me anyways. I want to soak up as much time with her as I can. And if she is sleeping during the day I want to pick up, facebook for as long as I want, or blog about just how great she is. I can live on four hours of sleep a night, right? I still kinda can't believe she's here. And she's ours, forever. But everyday it gets a little more real, everyday I fall a little deeper in love, and everyday I'm thankful for our little bug.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A Bug is Born
Trumpets played last Thursday. The Angels sang, Heaven threw a birthday party, and Jesus smiled. Leah Caroline Proebsting was born on July 7, 2011, and the world will never be the same.
Oh man, she is something else. Somehow she is everything and nothing I imagined. I'm not even sure where to start with a blog like this. There really are no words, no clever phrases, no amount of heartfelt story telling that can describe what the three of us have just been through. It was and is completely life changing. Duh.
I guess I'll start with the present. Right now we are home. There are three of us Proebsting's now, and the newest is by far the best. Leah is in her bouncer right now. The bouncer my sister bought at Christmastime. The same one that was her first big item, the first thing in her room, the one that we played for her a lot of times before bed so she could listen to the songs, and the one I have been imagining her in for so long. And it feels so nice not to have to imagine anymore. I'm looking at her while she's sleeping; she's all swaddled up, dreaming and making little sounds as she sleeps. Those big cheeks I hoped for are poking out just above her swaddle and her little red lips are pierced and perfect.
I guess now I should rewind. Last Tuesday was a whirlwind. I always wondered how "the day" would go, and through all of my imaginations, somehow I was left completely unprepared. It was my due date, and I had a big doctors appointment. We had a non-stress test and an ultrasound to make sure it was safe to go beyond my due date. Leah passed everything with flying colors, she was perfectly fine... but big. I had had no progress in two weeks in terms of her coming out - and with my doctors advice we decided to induce. That decision landed us in the hospital an hour and a half after the appointment. I was so overwhelmed. I cried the whole way home. Not because I wasn't ready, or I didn't want to have her - but to know I was starting the process in an hour was just too much. I was also sad knowing my time of being pregnant was coming to a close. I seriously, seriously loved it. If I could have Leah on the inside and outside I totally would. She was a hoot. But I got my bearings (thanks to Kyle), we called family, had a last meal at steak and shake, and checked ourselves in. Leah would be here Wednesday. Ha, not. If you want that whole story, read the blog previous to this. I'll start after 48 hours of labor, 3 epidural attempts, dilating 9cm naturally against my will, and pushing for an hour and having Leah not budge. C-section it was. And I could have cared.less. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. They kept telling me encouraging things, I guess they thought I was disappointed. I really just wanted them all to shut up and get her out already. After prepping, signing my life away in consent forms, Kyle getting his scrubs, and our doctor describing everything... I was wheeled away. The OR was a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. So bright, and white, and 50 million people with masks. Just like the movies. But as scary as it looked I just wanted her out. Kyle had to stay back while they did the anesthesia stuff, but as soon as he walked in I was calm and ready. There was lots of pressure and pulling, I tried not to think about it or I got nervous that somehow I would feel pain. Kyle and I just talked about normal stuff, I have no idea what about, but I remember asking him just to talk to me. Then one of the 5 doctors by my head told Kyle to get the camera ready... um what? I'm not ready! Leave her in, leave her in! I was panicked, and nervous, and anxious - but then I got something I wasn't ready for...
She cried.
She was out, she was alive, and she was crying. I couldn't believe it. After all of these months of dreaming of her birth I never once thought of her first cry! How could I forget that part?! But I guess I'm glad I did - because it was the best thing I've ever heard, and no amount of dreaming could have prepared me for that moment. And I cried, and cried, and cried. I was a little nervous my belly was shaking so much and someone would knick something important. From then on I felt nothing they were doing. My eyes were focused to the left for the next 20 minutes. Oh she screamed. They poked and prodded, flipped her, measured her, weighed her, pricked her, wrapped her, and handed her to her daddy. And she was calm. So many things were going on in that room, but I was oblivious to all but one. She came at 10:35pm, and life has been an incredible whirlwind ever since.
After the surgery was also nothing I expected. I was completely numb. Even my eyelids were numb, they started closing as we were still in the OR. I couldn't hold her for quite a while. Not only was I numb, but due to hormones (so they tell me) I was shaking violently. My body was just done. So I watched (technically listened, because my eyes weren't working properly) everyone hold her and pass her around. She was alert the whole time, unlike her mother. I wanted so badly to hold her... and to see... but I knew I would get my chance. And I did, at about 130am, the shaking subsided, my eyes opened, and I could move my arms! Bring her to me! I got her, and I didn't put her down. I sat up with her all night in the dark. There was no point in sleeping. The adrenaline had kicked in, and it wouldn't be long before the sun came up - so we waited out the night together. I gave her all the kisses I had been saving up for nine months, told her everything I had wanted to say for so long, and just held her warm little body for hours.
The next day was fun. The itching kicked in. One part was from the medicine wearing off, the other part was the four rashes I had developed overnight. Turns out - I'm allergic to adhesive. Labor is a real treat. So I itched my way through it, but I wasn't too distracted. I just soaked up my baby girl for most of the day. Things got a little more real this day. I think Kyle and I both had moments of, "oh my, she's actually here. What do we do with her now?" Scary, but good feelings. We re-introduced ourselves to each other as parents (non-verbally, of course). It's one thing to date someone, a little more intense to be engaged, and the real deal to be married. However, those things don't really change you. But having a baby instantly made us different people. Our world revolves around her now. It's fun to watch Kyle as a dad, and I love getting to know him in this role. And I will add here that he is the absolute best. Leah could not be a luckier little girl. He is so darn calm! I learned within hours that his immediate sense of calm when things go wrong is going to save our family. And oh my goodness, she is in love with him. I told you about this when I was pregnant - I could feel her lighting up in my belly when he was around. Now I actually get to see it - and there is nothing better. All I know is she doesn't stare at me like she stares at him. Thanks, kid. But I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. She is absolutely his biggest fan.
So I guess that's where we are. We have our Leah bug, and she is pretty great. So far she still gets the hiccups outside the womb as much as she did inside, she moves as much at night as she did in my belly, she loves her dad outside maybe even more than in, and she seems to have the big personality I had given her from judging her activity while growing. I love to examine her, and remember back to reading about what was growing each week and see that it's all there. She did everything she was supposed to, and now she's just perfect. Stay tuned - I'm sure there will be another blog about her at some point :).
Oh man, she is something else. Somehow she is everything and nothing I imagined. I'm not even sure where to start with a blog like this. There really are no words, no clever phrases, no amount of heartfelt story telling that can describe what the three of us have just been through. It was and is completely life changing. Duh.
I guess I'll start with the present. Right now we are home. There are three of us Proebsting's now, and the newest is by far the best. Leah is in her bouncer right now. The bouncer my sister bought at Christmastime. The same one that was her first big item, the first thing in her room, the one that we played for her a lot of times before bed so she could listen to the songs, and the one I have been imagining her in for so long. And it feels so nice not to have to imagine anymore. I'm looking at her while she's sleeping; she's all swaddled up, dreaming and making little sounds as she sleeps. Those big cheeks I hoped for are poking out just above her swaddle and her little red lips are pierced and perfect.
I guess now I should rewind. Last Tuesday was a whirlwind. I always wondered how "the day" would go, and through all of my imaginations, somehow I was left completely unprepared. It was my due date, and I had a big doctors appointment. We had a non-stress test and an ultrasound to make sure it was safe to go beyond my due date. Leah passed everything with flying colors, she was perfectly fine... but big. I had had no progress in two weeks in terms of her coming out - and with my doctors advice we decided to induce. That decision landed us in the hospital an hour and a half after the appointment. I was so overwhelmed. I cried the whole way home. Not because I wasn't ready, or I didn't want to have her - but to know I was starting the process in an hour was just too much. I was also sad knowing my time of being pregnant was coming to a close. I seriously, seriously loved it. If I could have Leah on the inside and outside I totally would. She was a hoot. But I got my bearings (thanks to Kyle), we called family, had a last meal at steak and shake, and checked ourselves in. Leah would be here Wednesday. Ha, not. If you want that whole story, read the blog previous to this. I'll start after 48 hours of labor, 3 epidural attempts, dilating 9cm naturally against my will, and pushing for an hour and having Leah not budge. C-section it was. And I could have cared.less. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. They kept telling me encouraging things, I guess they thought I was disappointed. I really just wanted them all to shut up and get her out already. After prepping, signing my life away in consent forms, Kyle getting his scrubs, and our doctor describing everything... I was wheeled away. The OR was a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. So bright, and white, and 50 million people with masks. Just like the movies. But as scary as it looked I just wanted her out. Kyle had to stay back while they did the anesthesia stuff, but as soon as he walked in I was calm and ready. There was lots of pressure and pulling, I tried not to think about it or I got nervous that somehow I would feel pain. Kyle and I just talked about normal stuff, I have no idea what about, but I remember asking him just to talk to me. Then one of the 5 doctors by my head told Kyle to get the camera ready... um what? I'm not ready! Leave her in, leave her in! I was panicked, and nervous, and anxious - but then I got something I wasn't ready for...
She cried.
She was out, she was alive, and she was crying. I couldn't believe it. After all of these months of dreaming of her birth I never once thought of her first cry! How could I forget that part?! But I guess I'm glad I did - because it was the best thing I've ever heard, and no amount of dreaming could have prepared me for that moment. And I cried, and cried, and cried. I was a little nervous my belly was shaking so much and someone would knick something important. From then on I felt nothing they were doing. My eyes were focused to the left for the next 20 minutes. Oh she screamed. They poked and prodded, flipped her, measured her, weighed her, pricked her, wrapped her, and handed her to her daddy. And she was calm. So many things were going on in that room, but I was oblivious to all but one. She came at 10:35pm, and life has been an incredible whirlwind ever since.
After the surgery was also nothing I expected. I was completely numb. Even my eyelids were numb, they started closing as we were still in the OR. I couldn't hold her for quite a while. Not only was I numb, but due to hormones (so they tell me) I was shaking violently. My body was just done. So I watched (technically listened, because my eyes weren't working properly) everyone hold her and pass her around. She was alert the whole time, unlike her mother. I wanted so badly to hold her... and to see... but I knew I would get my chance. And I did, at about 130am, the shaking subsided, my eyes opened, and I could move my arms! Bring her to me! I got her, and I didn't put her down. I sat up with her all night in the dark. There was no point in sleeping. The adrenaline had kicked in, and it wouldn't be long before the sun came up - so we waited out the night together. I gave her all the kisses I had been saving up for nine months, told her everything I had wanted to say for so long, and just held her warm little body for hours.
The next day was fun. The itching kicked in. One part was from the medicine wearing off, the other part was the four rashes I had developed overnight. Turns out - I'm allergic to adhesive. Labor is a real treat. So I itched my way through it, but I wasn't too distracted. I just soaked up my baby girl for most of the day. Things got a little more real this day. I think Kyle and I both had moments of, "oh my, she's actually here. What do we do with her now?" Scary, but good feelings. We re-introduced ourselves to each other as parents (non-verbally, of course). It's one thing to date someone, a little more intense to be engaged, and the real deal to be married. However, those things don't really change you. But having a baby instantly made us different people. Our world revolves around her now. It's fun to watch Kyle as a dad, and I love getting to know him in this role. And I will add here that he is the absolute best. Leah could not be a luckier little girl. He is so darn calm! I learned within hours that his immediate sense of calm when things go wrong is going to save our family. And oh my goodness, she is in love with him. I told you about this when I was pregnant - I could feel her lighting up in my belly when he was around. Now I actually get to see it - and there is nothing better. All I know is she doesn't stare at me like she stares at him. Thanks, kid. But I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. She is absolutely his biggest fan.
So I guess that's where we are. We have our Leah bug, and she is pretty great. So far she still gets the hiccups outside the womb as much as she did inside, she moves as much at night as she did in my belly, she loves her dad outside maybe even more than in, and she seems to have the big personality I had given her from judging her activity while growing. I love to examine her, and remember back to reading about what was growing each week and see that it's all there. She did everything she was supposed to, and now she's just perfect. Stay tuned - I'm sure there will be another blog about her at some point :).
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Still Laboring...
Here's your update:
After 13 hours of contractions and pitocin, I am still one centimeter. Nice, huh? I started breaking down about 4pm due to the fact that I haven't eaten since 5pm yesterday and slept a total of three hours overnight. My nurse couldn't stand watching me cry (we are three for three on fantastic nurses), and called the doctor. Again, my doctor gave me the choice, but let me know that she thinks my body is just saturated with the pitocin and is used to it and it is no longer effective in getting things going.
So with that, Kyle and I talked it over - and we decided on food, sleeping pill, and a second try in the morning. Leah is happy as a clam, and still moving as much as ever. I think she will be even more excited when her dad gets back with our food!
Of course I questioned my decision to induce. But there's no point. We're here now and playing the cards we were dealt. As much as a pain as this day has been, Leah is still very happy and healthy, we are another day closer to meeting her, and I have instantly perked up with the thought of food on its way!!
There is still a complete possibility of my contractions continuing and getting stronger despite stopping the pitocin - which would make this labor on Leah's terms anyways. If you pray, pray for that - I'd be so excited for her to decide she wants to keep going.
If we weren't ready before, we are definitely ready now. We are on the lookout for rest, patience, and strength if you have any of that lying around!!
Until tomorrow...
After 13 hours of contractions and pitocin, I am still one centimeter. Nice, huh? I started breaking down about 4pm due to the fact that I haven't eaten since 5pm yesterday and slept a total of three hours overnight. My nurse couldn't stand watching me cry (we are three for three on fantastic nurses), and called the doctor. Again, my doctor gave me the choice, but let me know that she thinks my body is just saturated with the pitocin and is used to it and it is no longer effective in getting things going.
So with that, Kyle and I talked it over - and we decided on food, sleeping pill, and a second try in the morning. Leah is happy as a clam, and still moving as much as ever. I think she will be even more excited when her dad gets back with our food!
Of course I questioned my decision to induce. But there's no point. We're here now and playing the cards we were dealt. As much as a pain as this day has been, Leah is still very happy and healthy, we are another day closer to meeting her, and I have instantly perked up with the thought of food on its way!!
There is still a complete possibility of my contractions continuing and getting stronger despite stopping the pitocin - which would make this labor on Leah's terms anyways. If you pray, pray for that - I'd be so excited for her to decide she wants to keep going.
If we weren't ready before, we are definitely ready now. We are on the lookout for rest, patience, and strength if you have any of that lying around!!
Until tomorrow...
Laboring for Leah
Like the title? I came up with it at 3am, don't judge me.
One of the first things we learned in childbirth class is to be.relaxed. To pack anything that makes you relaxed, and blogging wins for me - so lucky you, you might just get a long blog or two. I figured I'd share our last 24 hours with you, some of what happened deserves a blog of its own, but I will give you the abridged version.
The day started like all others. We woke up. I reminded Leah that today was supposed to be her big day; she kicked me and demanded breakfast. So breakfast we ate, watched SportsCenter, and saw Kyle off to work. And then it was nap time for us. We've gotten in this really nice pattern where we get a two hour nap on the couch after he leaves. I have been figuring any day could be "the day" so why not rest up when I can?
Also, on this particular day, I knew I needed to keep myself occupied. I did not want to sit at home all day watching the clock, waiting for any sign of labor. I decided a nap would be the best. When I woke up though, I knew I needed out the door! So Target won. I spent an hour there, and surprisingly only bought some nail polish and a wallet. Both were completely necessary. Kyle would be coming home at one to go to the appointment with me. This one was kind of a big one, as we would find out is Leah was holding up okay in there, if we could afford to wait some more, and if I was still doing okay.
We had an ultrasound and she looked great. Big, but great. We saw hair, chunky cheeks, chunky thighs, she was sucking, and her little nostrils were flaring. Her heart was beating fast and strong. Then we did a non stress test, and she was more perfect. Moving around tons, and holding a steady but fast heartbeat. Then we saw the doctor. And she's not one to anxiously induce. But Leah isn't getting any smaller, and appears to be pretty darn content. We decided that going another week probably wouldn't do anything but get her another half of a pound bigger. Induction seemed like the safest and healthiest option.
She told us to get ourselves to the hospital by six. That left an hour and a half to round our things up, and realize that this was actually happening. Kyle was much better at this part. I cried the whole way home. Not because I was scared or didn't want to do it. I was just completely overwhelmed. I thought for Leah and hoped she'd be ready for everything coming her way. And I also thought about how I don't get to be pregnant anymore. And I really am sad about that. I'm sure once I'm holding her I won't think twice about being pregnant - but it's a little sad that I don't get to feel her move around in there anymore.
So how did we spend our last hour together? Pretty much frantically. Okay, I was frantic; Kyle was calm. Once we got everything in order, and called someone to fix the massive leak in our laundry room we found as we were walking out the door (ugh)... we loaded the car... and headed to Steak and Shake for one last meal. Chicken strips all around.
We got to the hospital at six like we were told. They gave us our room, started right in with the monitors and poking and prodding. Leah was still fine, and her heartbeat was off the charts, literally. There is a gray section for normal heartbeats, and Leah's was all over the map. She went to the top of the entire paper. When I saw the nurse at 3am, she said my doctor was here delivering another baby and she just had to show her Leah's paper - and apparently the both got a kick out of it. This little one might just be trouble :). Also at 3am I got an Ambien, because I hadn't slept all night and there was no sign of me actually falling asleep on my own. And Kyle, who has been freezing this whole time got treated to blankets fresh out of the warmer and even got tucked in by our nurse. I think the span for 3-7am was the best part of the night for all of us.
Waking up this morning was surreal. By the end of this day I could easily have a little (big) Leah in my arms. The pitocin will be started momentarily, and then the real fun starts. Leah is being a champ. My nurse, says she doubts she'll be here by suppertime, but that she thinks her birthday will be July 6, 2011. Stay tuned, I will let you know!!
One of the first things we learned in childbirth class is to be.relaxed. To pack anything that makes you relaxed, and blogging wins for me - so lucky you, you might just get a long blog or two. I figured I'd share our last 24 hours with you, some of what happened deserves a blog of its own, but I will give you the abridged version.
The day started like all others. We woke up. I reminded Leah that today was supposed to be her big day; she kicked me and demanded breakfast. So breakfast we ate, watched SportsCenter, and saw Kyle off to work. And then it was nap time for us. We've gotten in this really nice pattern where we get a two hour nap on the couch after he leaves. I have been figuring any day could be "the day" so why not rest up when I can?
Also, on this particular day, I knew I needed to keep myself occupied. I did not want to sit at home all day watching the clock, waiting for any sign of labor. I decided a nap would be the best. When I woke up though, I knew I needed out the door! So Target won. I spent an hour there, and surprisingly only bought some nail polish and a wallet. Both were completely necessary. Kyle would be coming home at one to go to the appointment with me. This one was kind of a big one, as we would find out is Leah was holding up okay in there, if we could afford to wait some more, and if I was still doing okay.
We had an ultrasound and she looked great. Big, but great. We saw hair, chunky cheeks, chunky thighs, she was sucking, and her little nostrils were flaring. Her heart was beating fast and strong. Then we did a non stress test, and she was more perfect. Moving around tons, and holding a steady but fast heartbeat. Then we saw the doctor. And she's not one to anxiously induce. But Leah isn't getting any smaller, and appears to be pretty darn content. We decided that going another week probably wouldn't do anything but get her another half of a pound bigger. Induction seemed like the safest and healthiest option.
She told us to get ourselves to the hospital by six. That left an hour and a half to round our things up, and realize that this was actually happening. Kyle was much better at this part. I cried the whole way home. Not because I was scared or didn't want to do it. I was just completely overwhelmed. I thought for Leah and hoped she'd be ready for everything coming her way. And I also thought about how I don't get to be pregnant anymore. And I really am sad about that. I'm sure once I'm holding her I won't think twice about being pregnant - but it's a little sad that I don't get to feel her move around in there anymore.
So how did we spend our last hour together? Pretty much frantically. Okay, I was frantic; Kyle was calm. Once we got everything in order, and called someone to fix the massive leak in our laundry room we found as we were walking out the door (ugh)... we loaded the car... and headed to Steak and Shake for one last meal. Chicken strips all around.
We got to the hospital at six like we were told. They gave us our room, started right in with the monitors and poking and prodding. Leah was still fine, and her heartbeat was off the charts, literally. There is a gray section for normal heartbeats, and Leah's was all over the map. She went to the top of the entire paper. When I saw the nurse at 3am, she said my doctor was here delivering another baby and she just had to show her Leah's paper - and apparently the both got a kick out of it. This little one might just be trouble :). Also at 3am I got an Ambien, because I hadn't slept all night and there was no sign of me actually falling asleep on my own. And Kyle, who has been freezing this whole time got treated to blankets fresh out of the warmer and even got tucked in by our nurse. I think the span for 3-7am was the best part of the night for all of us.
Waking up this morning was surreal. By the end of this day I could easily have a little (big) Leah in my arms. The pitocin will be started momentarily, and then the real fun starts. Leah is being a champ. My nurse, says she doubts she'll be here by suppertime, but that she thinks her birthday will be July 6, 2011. Stay tuned, I will let you know!!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
40 Weeks! D-Day.
Well, I had a blog half written. I was waiting to put in everything we learned from the doctors appointment today. But none of what I had written about matters right now. I apologize for another short blog, but here's what you need to know:
In an hour and a half Kyle and I will be admitted to the hospital and our baby girl will be here tomorrow! Leah's heart rate was great on the monitors, and my fluid levels were perfect. However, during the ultrasound we learned that plus or minus a pound she is 8lbs 11oz. That's a big girl. Always what I wanted, but big. We discussed it thoroughly with the doctor, and while she left the decision up to us - we wanted her advice. With Leah appearing to be going nowhere fast, and in a really stable condition right now she thought it best that we induce tonight.
Inducing was not in my plan. But everything she said made complete sense, and it sounds the healthiest for Leah (and myself). If you pray, please do so. I'm a tad overwhelmed. As prepared as I think we are, there is nothing like hearing you have to be at the hospital in an hour and you're going to have a baby tomorrow.
Overwhelmed as I may be, I am also so excited - I saw her on an ultrasound today and couldn't get enough! I can't wait to see her in color - and give those big cheeks she has a kiss!
I have wished for weeks that I would go to a doctors appointment and she would just send me to the hospital... and well, be careful what you wish for!
In an hour and a half Kyle and I will be admitted to the hospital and our baby girl will be here tomorrow! Leah's heart rate was great on the monitors, and my fluid levels were perfect. However, during the ultrasound we learned that plus or minus a pound she is 8lbs 11oz. That's a big girl. Always what I wanted, but big. We discussed it thoroughly with the doctor, and while she left the decision up to us - we wanted her advice. With Leah appearing to be going nowhere fast, and in a really stable condition right now she thought it best that we induce tonight.
Inducing was not in my plan. But everything she said made complete sense, and it sounds the healthiest for Leah (and myself). If you pray, please do so. I'm a tad overwhelmed. As prepared as I think we are, there is nothing like hearing you have to be at the hospital in an hour and you're going to have a baby tomorrow.
Overwhelmed as I may be, I am also so excited - I saw her on an ultrasound today and couldn't get enough! I can't wait to see her in color - and give those big cheeks she has a kiss!
I have wished for weeks that I would go to a doctors appointment and she would just send me to the hospital... and well, be careful what you wish for!
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