Worried Mama.

Who would have thought four hours would give me enough material for an entire blog? Well, it did. Fasten your seatbelts. Ok, that was lame, I apologize.

This day started out like any other. Kind of. First of all, Leah did not sleep well. And considering she has been in a fantastic schedule of only waking up at 3, and then sleeping in until 8, I was thrown for a loop. And exhausted. But she was so darn smiley this morning! Those smiles seriously make up for everything. They change my mood in a second. I fed her, changed her diaper, and put on some day clothes. For some reason, I also decided to check on her birthmark. And that’s where it all went downhill.

I’ve told you she has a “birthmark” behind her ear, right? Well, turns out, it has a fancier name. Leah has a strawberry hemanginoma behind her ear. It’s basically a collection of blood vessels that just build on each other. It will get bigger for several months, and then slowly start to fade away, and will eventually leave her forever. For the most part, I’ve gotten used to it. But sometimes I feel the need to inspect it. I want to keep an eye on it, it’s size, and if it’s changing. So today I decided I would check it. I peeled her ear back, and the first thing I saw was a trickle of blood run down the back of her ear! Cue, panic. A couple of days ago it was kind of crusty looking, like maybe it had oozed, but I just shrugged that off. Today, there was blood. And you don’t shrug blood off. I looked at the clock, 8:26, the doctor’s office opened at 8:30. I decided to give staying calm a shot, and I just talked and played with her for what seemed like an eternity. Thank goodness though, she was just as smiley, if not more than ever. That made me think it couldn’t be too bad. Finally, 8:30! And I actually made it til 8:39 – I didn’t want to be “that mom.” Plus, Leah needed a new diaper. I called the doctor and spoke to his receptionist. I asked if I needed an appointment or if I could just talk to him on the phone. Me, still thinking it wasn’t a big deal. She asked what my question was and I told her. She said, “oh, he’ll want to see her, can you come in today.” Okay, so I’m feeling a little less at ease. The blood spooked me, and her sense of urgency added to that. So we set up an appointment for 10:45 – right in the middle of Leah’s nap and not too long before she’d need to eat again – stellar.

We got to the doctor and the real fun started. First of all, she was the happiest little thing in the waiting room! Tons and tons of smiles. I smiled back, but I was so nervous on the inside. By the time we got into a room, and he came to see us, she had had enough. She missed out on her nap, and it was cold in there! He took my screaming baby and peeled back her ear – and all I saw was continual drops of blood hitting the paper that lined the table. Not.Okay. I didn’t need him to tell me something was not right. But he did anyways. He took my screaming baby and said, “I’ll be right back.” Wait, what? You’re holding my screaming, bloody, child – give her to me! …Is what I wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead I sat in that room completely spooked by the table of blood and her sweet little purple blanket all bloodied. Finally, he came back and said he’d like to send me to a dermatologist that specializes in these things to 1)stop the bleeding and 2) “talk options.” You never want to hear the words, “talk options” from a doctor. So now I’ve got blood that I was concerned about, a receptionist with an urgent tone in her voice, a bloody table to spook me completely, and a doctor that wants to send us to a specialist right away to talk options. Mom’s done. That’s all I signed up for today. Please stop. But I asked to feed her in his office, he obliged, and we were on our way to stop number two.

We get to the dermatologist and the fun really started. Did I already say it started? Well, things got even better. Leah still hadn’t had a nap and it was noon. The extra cheery receptionist (sarcasm) was quick to tell me that the doctor was an hour behind. Sweet. About that time, Leah decided she had had enough. The screaming started once again. The cheery receptionist gave me a clipboard full of forms and told me to fill them out. Okay, I’ll get right on that. You can all listen to my baby scream in the meantime. And they did. All I wanted to do was pick Leah up, but no. I had to fill out our family history for a doctor we would only see once, and will probably never see again. And to the lady who gave me a look of disgust and then took herself out into the main lobby to sit – get over yourself. If I didn’t love Jesus I would have had some choice words for her. But I scribbled as much as I could down, turned the clipboard in, and picked up my still screaming baby! I paced the office floor with her as everybody watched. Finally, she relaxed. Didn’t sleep, but relaxed. And if for some reason she did accidentally fall asleep, she was awoken by the door that slammed shut as people came in and out. But I continued to hold her as she drifted in and out of sleep, patiently, or not patiently waiting for our turn. Soon, the waiting room cleared out from people getting to see the doctor before us. But eventually, it was our turn. When we saw that doctor, who was amazing, he first complimented me on how cute she was. Sir, I have bigger things on my mind, but thank you. Eventually, he got down to business. And by business I mean he looked at her ear for five seconds, talked to me for one minute about why it’s a problem that it was bleeding and that it needed to be removed asap, and then took my baby and left the room! Why do they keep taking my child! Give her to me, I will gladly follow you! And where do they keep going?! So I sat in the room again by myself with the thoughts of blood in the morning, an urgent sounding receptionist, thoughts of a table covered in blood, a doctor that sends me to a specialist right away, and a specialist who tells me it needs to be removed asap. Good day so far, right?  But a minute later he came back and said, “I have called Children’s Hospital, and they can see her tomorrow, is that okay?” Uh, sure? Am I going to say no, I don’t want you to fix my bleeding daughter?

And here we are. We finally got home. Leah finally got a nap. I finally got to eat for the first time. And now I’m left to sit and worry. This is really the first time I’ve gotten to wear the “worried mom” hat. She projectile vomited once and it freaked me out, but this is different. My heart is sick. I don’t want her to bleed, I don’t want her to be in pain, I don’t want her to have to go to the hospital tomorrow. She’s a baby, do they know that?! Do they know how to take care of babies at Children’s Hospital? And if they know how to take care of babies, do they know how to take care of mine?! I feel like I am way more qualified, after all, I am her mom. I carried this little thing around for nine months, it doesn’t get closer than that. What do these doctors know anyways? She’s just a baby! She has a tiny ear, don’t screw it up! Better yet, give me the tools – I’ll get it off – I’m her mom, I know how to take care of her. Okay, I realize that is all irrational. I know that the award winning hospital has wonderful doctors. I’m sure they have removed one of these before. And I’m sure they have worked on babies. But I can still be worried. And I will be. Until tomorrow at 2pm.

Wish us luck. In reality, Leah will be fine – Kyle will be fine – I will be a mess. So maybe wish me luck. And say a prayer for our little bug.

And because I promised a conversation with every blog, here is today’s in regards to this whole mess. Before I took her to the doctor:

Me: I wonder if they’ll want to take it off?

Kyle: HER EAR?!?!

So This is What It's Like

Now that Leah is growing into a big girl, life is getting so much more fun! She doesn't just eat, sleep, and cry anymore. Now, she eats, sleeps, cries, BUT she also smiles, rolls, talks, bounces, swims, and squeals. I feel like I could rewrite the same blog over and over again: Leah is so fun, she's getting so big, she can do so many new things, she's the greatest little thing in the world! I'll try to get creative though - I'll have to figure out how to say all of those things week after week without you realizing it. Cue cleverness.

I do actually have some different things to write about this week. This past week was a week of firsts. Not firsts for Leah, either. Okay, they were kind of for Leah - but more for me. The whole time I was pregnant I imagined how life would go once she got here. And it seems that just last week I realized that I am starting to live every one of the things I imagined for so long.

For instance:

I remember the night we (Kyle) put her crib together. I was just sitting on the floor like a bum, but absolutely lighting up inside trying to imagine the day I would go into her room, look in her crib, and find her with a big fat smile on her face. And... you guessed it... it happened this past week. I walked up to get her after she bleated for me. Not expecting anything I walked over to her crib, looked down and gave her a smile like always... but this time, she gave one back! And not just some puny little smile, a big.fat.grin. Oh, my heart just melted. So this is what it's like. Way cooler than anything I could have conjured up. Man, I love those smiles full of gums. Obviously, I smiled a huge smile back and started talking to her and she was just hamming it up. We smiled at each other for a couple of minutes, and then she reminded me that she actually wanted me to pick her up and get her out, ha. Sorry, bug. I could have kept that up all day.

I remember all those nights of going to church and feeling her go absolutely crazy - wondering what it would be like when I actually got to take her to church. Would she like it? Would she be as crazy? Would she sleep? Well, I got to find this one out last Saturday. With her being such a big girl not screaming at night as much we got brave. And can I just say, she loved it just as much! She got a little restless at the very beginning during the announcements. And all I could think was, please just start singing that's what she really likes. Those five minutes might have been the longest ever. She was wiggling and grunting and very close to crying. I thought for sure we were doomed. You know that feeling when you think you might pee your pants? You squirm and wiggle, you're uncomfortable, and you just want to get to the bathroom as fast as you can. Well that was Leah and I waiting for the darn songs! Just get on with it already, I'm losing her! But they did - and the second the music started she got wide.eyed. And for the entire rest of the service, preaching and all, she was quiet, calm, and awake! She didn't sleep a wink, but I didn't expect her to knowing how much she likes church. I am shocked that she sat still for an hour and a half without crying, there must have been some divine intervention happening. I actually heard another baby crying and thought to myself, "my baby is sooo much better than that kid." Ha - probably not the best thought to have in church.

I remember all the nights of getting up to go to the bathroom four and five times, and thinking to myself, what's it going to be like when I can get up and rock her back to sleep. Well, obviously I've gotten lots of experience with this one. But only lately has it been the kind of experience I imagined. The first six weeks I stumbled in there and pleaded with her to sleep. Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's still the pits. Lately, however, I have been catching my shadow on the wall as I sway her back to sleep, and it just gives me the best feeling. She's not the bear she once was to get to sleep. These days, she's quite calm. And when I rock her at 3am (or any time), I find myself instantly calm instead of frustrated. I love being the one to calm her down, and lots of times, especially when I watch my shadow go back and forth across the wall, I can think of no place I'd rather be. There is something very peaceful about rocking a baby to sleep, and waking up with her is much less of a nuisance than waking up to pee a gazillion times. 

I remember getting her bathtub for Christmas, and praying that she liked baths. Of any babysitting job I've ever had, I've always thought baths were the most fun part. Maybe that's the swimmer in me, but I love playing with kids in water. Man, I wanted her to like baths. And she does! This last week, however, she has taken her bath time to a new level. She has always squirmed around like a goofball, but now she has a new, life threatening trick. She has figured out that if she pushes her heal against the bottom of the tub she can get herself off of the seat and into the "deep end." The first time she did it, I thought it was an accident. I quickly grabbed her by her wet little arm which was like trying to catch a wet worm. I put her back on her seat, but two seconds later she did it again - with a funny little smirk on her face! She absolutely knew what she was doing - little stinker. Now, she does it over and over and over. Bath time isn't just a calming experience anymore, but nothing with this child is. I can't just sit and watch her, both of my hands have to be around her at all times. And since I can't stop her from trying to drown herself, I have decided to start swimming lessons. Now when she does it, I just put my hands under her back and let her do the back float, and that silly little smirk never leaves her face.

I always wondered what life would be like - and slowly but surely, I'm finding out. I always wondered what Leah would be like, and every day she tells me a little more about herself. Fun times are ahead for the Proebstings.

Conversation of the week, in regards to church:

Kyle: So where are we going to sit?
Me: In the back. On the end.
Kyle: Near an exit.

Sigh. Such is life with a child that likes to be heard.

Speed of Light.

Are you counting weeks like I am? I’ve said it before, but it’s a never ending cycle. From the second the test said pregnant, the “weeks started.” Then they stopped. And now they’ve started over. Little bug is 7 weeks. These blogs are becoming more of a necessity for me. This child is growing and changing at an alarming rate of speed! I’m going to have to make myself blog about her little life every week or everything that she is doing will completely pass me by. Perhaps I should have bought a baby book like a good mother would do, but I never found one I liked – so the blogs will have to do. Maybe I’ll put together a scrapbook for her with all the free time I have…

So what’s the big deal with this week? What do I have to brag about? Well, for starters I’m practically raising an adult. No one tell Leah she is seven weeks old, she has no clue. It will just be our little secret. She smiles at everything. I swear I’ve heard her laugh. She sits in her bumbo like a champ. We have a game where I let her grab my thumbs when she’s laying down then I pull her to the sitting position and let her stay there for a bit then slowly lower her. Well, that lasted about three days, now she refuses to sit and goes straight to standing. Sitting just isn’t cutting it anymore. She has outgrown the newborn part of her bathtub, and she likes baths even more now that she can kick and splash. She has rolled over two more times, one of which her dad got to see. With a pacifier, she can get herself to sleep in her crib without being rocked for an hour! Can I get a Hallelujah? She gets fussy around eight now due to being tired, but besides that she really doesn’t scream. She is following all the family rules! We ate dinner as a family every night last week. She talks a lot. We have another game where I stick out my tongue and she sticks out hers back – might be the cutest thing in the world. I’m trying to get a video of it. She has been in bed at her bedtime every night for a week. Can I get another Hallelujah? We took a mom and Leah trip to Hobby Lobby and nobody screamed. Ok, until we got to the checkout, but the important thing is we went shopping! She knows where her dad is at all times, and follows him all over the house with her eyes no matter how far she has to turn her head. She really loves her Rainforest Lullabies CD. She has found her tongue, and likes to use it. My favorite is when she licks me. She has been trying out her fists, and I think she really likes the way they taste. She likes to burrow in my arm when she sleeps on me – don’t worry I’ve made sure she can breathe. She is starting to really like outside. She loves to kick one leg at a time, and it usually means she is getting mad – it reminds me a lot of a horse stomping. We found a bottle she likes! Are there any Hallelujah’s left? The hair on the top of her head has really started to grow – it might even catch up with the hair on the back of her head! And last but not least, I’ve given her some new nicknames. Chunky Monkey, Kickin Chicken, Stretchin Gretchen, and Funny Bunny. Don’t judge me, they just roll off my tongue.

And that my friends, all happened in a week. Do you see what I mean – speed.of.light.

So Leah is officially part of the family, and she’s doing really well with it! We’re so happy to have a new member! And her mom? Well, I’m trying my hardest to be a productive member of this family. I think I’m doing okay if I do say so myself. We have eaten a home-cooked meal every night for a week! I have done laundry, and cleaned the house one room at a time. This morning I made our bed, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that – baby or no baby. I finally got around to hanging pictures of our new little family, and our house instantly looks more “homey.” I also redecorated. And can I just say, thank God. When I was nesting, I also redecorated. And something must have been wrong with me, because once the little one came out I was grossed out by the house I came home to. I actually painted a mirror teal. Teal. And I had placemats and candles to match. One thing teal is too much, three things teal is disturbing. So first things first… new color scheme. The mirror is now a normal shade of brown -much easier on the eyes. The placemats are nice, calm fall colors. And the candles stayed, but they moved to the living room and they fit much better in there. I don’t shutter when I walk through the door now. I also took down pictures of Kyle and I and swapped them for you know who. She is much more fun to look at. Now I’m on the hunt for some “fall foliage.” Yes, I’m going to will fall to be here…stat. I’m happy to announce that I shower daily, and sometimes even do my hair! I’m pretty much a normal person again. I also got the okay to start exercising again. Ha. I’ll get right on that. I still miss being pregnant terribly. I want the bump. And the clothes. And the kicking and squirming. Anyone want me to carry a baby for you?

And Kyle, well he’s always been a productive member of the family. Leah and I are lucky to have him.

So with week seven starting in just two days, life isn’t so scary anymore. I dare say we have adjusted, and are going about our days like normal people. It’s fun to be a family.

I’ve decided to end each blog with my favorite conversation of the week. Kyle and I have some pretty good ones these days, and they just have to be shared. And because I didn’t do it last week and meant to, you get a bonus today… enjoy!

Kyle: Do you ever jiggle her a little harder than normal when she's crying then feel bad about it?

Me: Yep.

(I should clarify with this one that we are not shaking her. Jiggling is different, she likes to be jiggled. And when we get frustrated she gets a little extra...). 

Me: Look at this. This is a 3-9 month onsie. Do you think it will fit her at 9 months?

Kyle (with big eyes): Is she some sort of freak?

Part of the Family

They grow up so fast.

Just like that our little girl is six weeks old. That seems less babyish to me. Obviously, she is still very much a baby, but I feel like she is completely out of the newborn stage. Just this week she has so many new fun things that she does, so many new sounds that come out of her mouth, so many clothes that no longer fit, and so many new looks. This little bug has quite the personality. And she is getting more fun everyday.

For instance, just this week Leah started holding toys and rolling over! She also hit her 6 week growth spurt and grew another half inch! She talks a lot, and smiles even more. She has really started to interact with us, and it's so fun to get a smile when talking to her. She kicks her legs like she may never get to use them again, and she watches TV like she knows exactly what's going on.

Being the big girl that she is, Leah's little life has taken a new turn. Two things occurred to me the other day. 1) Leah has been staying happily awake for longer periods of time. 2) Kyle and I haven't eaten dinner together since she's been born. You might not think those two thoughts mesh together, but my brain went to work with those thoughts - and what was the result? It's time Leah become part of the family.

She is in our family, we are all well aware of that. However, for the first six weeks of her life we catered to this child's every cry. One of us would eat while the other one rocked and shushed. One of us would watch TV while the other one swayed and jiggled. One of us would collapse on the couch while the other one went to the bathroom with the fan on. And the truth is, I missed my husband. Leah started showing signs of being a big girl this week, so I decided to jump at my chance. She is awake more, crying less, smiling tons, and can spend some time occupying herself. Nighttime isn't the terror it once was, and I dare say it's almost tolerable.

So armed with that new found revelation, I made Leah a new set of rules. She is part of our family now, and that means a lot of things. First of all, we eat dinner together. And we don't scream through it. If she is awake she can sit peacefully in her bouncer by the table, tell us about her day, and listen to us as we talk about ours. She can say the dinner prayer with us, and if she's going to be awake she's not allowed to fuss. Secondly, we take family walks. And we don't scream through them. We walk peacefully, and talk about all kinds of things. She is more than welcome to join in the conversation, and she is even welcome to fall asleep, but she is not welcome to fuss. Third, we take family outings. And we don't scream through them. She is welcome to fall asleep, or to look around as much as she'd like... but she is not allowed to fuss. Finally, we go to bed. And we don't scream. That's right, we are revisiting bedtime. Based on her natural sleeping patterns, Leah's new bedtime is 10pm. Which means her bedtime routine starts at 9:30 and consists of bath, book, snack, swaddle, and prayers. Take note, screaming is not part of the routine. We've explained all the rules to her, and we've reinforced that screaming is not part of our family. I fully expect her to listen and adhere.

Actually, we had a trial run yesterday, and it actually went really well. My day was easier because I didn't fight her to get her to sleep. If after some time she wasn't having it, the swaddle came off and she got to stay awake. We played lots, and she had tons to say and tons of smiles. We ate dinner as a family - at the table! Of course she wasn't asleep, so she sat in her bouncer and looked around pleasantly for a while. However, she got a little bored half-way through. I tried to remind her that we don't scream through dinner, but she wasn't having it. So Kyle and I took turns occupying her - but the important thing to remember is we ate dinner together. And that was the goal. Being that she was awake more in the day, made for a harder night. Obviously, I did not try to keep her up during the day. We definitely tried napping, and for the most part she still slept, but her sleeping patterns are changing. And she is beginning to naturally stay up longer. She was restless and fussy after dinner, so a walk we took. And she did really well there as well. She did start to cry as she was falling asleep in the stroller, but Kyle reminded her Proebstings don't scream through walks - and she fell asleep! Naturally, she woke up when we got back inside, and the real screaming started. She did not care that Proebstings don't scream. But we only had an hour to get through before we got to try out the bedtime routine. She cried through her bath (she was already crying), but then got really calm. We listened to music, read our book, ate a snack, swaddled, and do you know what? I put her in her crib asleep at 10pm!! Bedtime success!

Her mom also has to learn how to become part of the family again. I hadn't cooked a real meal in a long time, and not only did I miss it - but I missed eating real meals. Graham crackers don't cut it anymore. So my goal every day is to make a meal that we can sit at the table and eat. I also used to wake up at a normal time and eat breakfast. And I miss that. Now instead of sleeping in with Leah, I get up and get my day started. With her being awake more, she is now up during the time I eat breakfast. But she knows that like dinner, we don't scream through breakfast. So I sit beside her on the floor and eat my breakfast, watch the Today Show, and talk to my little girl. I also used to clean, with cleaning supplies. So I've started that again. Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and dusted! Today I folded some laundry, and talked Leah through how we fold laundry, and cleaned her bedroom. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to the bathroom. It's fun to get back to a normal routine, and I'm excited for Leah and I both!

And that's where we are. Six weeks means big things for the three of us Proebstings. We are a family, and it's time we started acting like one. After all, a family that plays together, stays together.

One Month Down - The Rest of Our Lives to Go

Can you believe it? We’ve kept her alive a whole month! High fives all around.

What a fun month it’s been. And I actually mean that. There were the exhausting times, the screaming fits (by mom and Leah), the frustration, and the lack of sleep – but there was also the first day home, the first night in the crib, the first bath, the first smile, the first coo, the first turning her head to listen to us, the first car ride to calm her down, and the many naps on moms chest. And those things far outweigh the first group.

It’s funny what you can learn about someone who can’t talk. The first couple weeks of Leah’s life I just cracked every cry up to mean, “I’m hungry.” Somewhere around the 3^rd week I started to try and interpret them and see if I could actually see what she wants. And do you know what? She actually has different cries! For instance, if she wants to eat she bleats like a goat. If I let her go too long she gets mad, but in the beginning it’s just funny. If she’s too full she shakes her head back and forth along with a cry that sounds like a cough. As if she’s saying, “mom, stop it – I’m drowning over here.” If she’s tired her cry is very whiney and almost sounds like she’s saying, noooo or naaaah. Haha, which, given her hatred of sleep, she probably is. If she wants to change positions, her cry is short, but her hands start flailing around.  And if she’s in pain, it’s just one single loud shriek. Luckily, I hear that one the least. And I am more than used to the tired cry. It was when I started actually trying to listen to her that I started to feel like a mom. I don’t know if I ever really will, but have to rely just on the sounds of different cries definitely put my “mothering instincts” to the test. It was kind of fun, and now I don’t constantly think she’s hungry. Thank God.

Maybe what was more fun that trying to figure out her cries was trying to figure out how to calm her down. And by fun, I mean exhausting. But we’re a pretty smart, innovative couple of Proebstings, and we’ve come up with some good strategies. For instance, if we want her to sleep comfortably in her crib: naturally, Kyle will rub his socks on himself to get his scent on them, which in turn will comfort her and we will have a sleeping baby. (Have I mentioned how much I love him)? If she is screaming in the car: turn the radio on one of the 75 AM channels that don’t work anyways and blare the white noise. If she falls asleep in her car seat: For the love of God don’t take her out, simply shut her in the bathroom with the fan on, that will keep her nice and asleep. If rocking doesn’t work: bounce on the exercise ball until you can’t feel your legs. That’s usually the amount of time it takes for her to be asleep. And as a bonus, rock.hard.abs. If she wakes up from a nap earlier than she should: Do not make eye contact! Put her to your chest immediately and rock her back to sleep. And for the witching hour: It’s a crap shoot. Just get through it.

Holding Leah is very strange sometimes. Especially when her ultra sound picture, or one of our maternity pictures is in my view. It’s so very weird/wonderful that that belly was holding this perfect little baby that I get to hold now. Or that the little black and white body in her ultra sound picture turned out to be this little girl with chubby cheeks, blue eyes, and male pattern baldness. Everything about being pregnant, and then actually having the baby is so surreal. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over it. Speaking of which, I am so ready to be pregnant again. Calm down, Kyle – I don’t want another baby yet. I just miss having a little someone in my belly. I miss everything about it. I walk past the maternity section of target and get sad I can’t shop there anymore. I look at my belly pictures and would trade my normal stomach for that one in a heartbeat. If I think about it too much I could probably start crying. But I will get there again someday, and in the meantime, I have Leah to keep me occupied.

And occupy my time she does.

Here’s what I have learned about that little girl I grew for nine months:

• ·         She still hates sleep. That’s never going to change.
• ·         She will fight sleep with every ounce of strength she has. She kicks her legs, grunts, and makes her face turn a lovely shade of maroon. I’ve never seen anything like it.
• ·         She likes one kind of pacifier. I need to just throw the rest out.
• ·         She’s working on her bottle skills, but it turns out to be more of a mess than anything. Maybe someday.
• ·         She loves to sit. Sitting can take her from screaming to silent in seconds.
• ·         Kicking is her movement of choice. We’ve got a soccer player on our hands.
• ·         She is a morning person. She gives me her best and brightest smiles at 7am.
• ·         She is not a newborn. No more newborn diapers, no more newborn clothes.
• ·         She has finally learned that getting in her car seat means she is going in the car. Thus ending screaming in her car seat.
• ·         She loves TV. And will turn her head as far around as she can get it to be able to see the tv.
• ·         She loves her book of black and white patterns and her little yellow puppy.
• ·         She gets the hiccups every time she eats. And most of the time they make her mad.
• ·         If she doesn’t sleep well during the day, she doesn’t sleep well at night. Which makes me obsessive about naps.
• ·         She loves to look out the window, house or car.
• ·         She has a birth mark behind her ear.
• ·         She can track things with her eyes, turn her head to look at us, smile, coo, and lift her head up like a pro.

This list grows daily. With everything she’s doing now, I can only imagine what she’ll be doing at six months!

Well, it’s been a month since I had a baby ripped out of me. And I think I’m fully recovered. Ok, maybe not fully because my stomach is still so tender. It feels like I have a constant rug burn. But besides that, things are great. I’ve got a killer scar. I’ve lost all pregnancy weight, plus a couple pounds. Have a kid, it’s the best diet around. I usually eat breakfast around 11, lunch is usually a graham cracker, and dinner is whatever is easiest. Remember how much I wanted cereal when I was pregnant? That craving has left the building. I really have no desire to eat it anymore. Ever. But I traded that craving for soda?! That is just not okay. But I find myself driving to sonic more than I should to get my fix. I bought my first non maternity clothes since last October. I had to try on all the sizes, I had no idea what I’d be. Turns out, I’m the same size I used to be. I guess that’s good, but I would still rather dress a pregnant me. I’m getting better at showering. It happens almost daily now! Everyone is happier for that. I’m adjusting to sleep without my snoogle. I’m definitely happy to be a stomach sleeper again, but I’ve noticed I’m not sleeping as soundly as I did before. But then again, that could be the baby in the next room. Today I will be getting out all my old pants/shorts to see if I can get them buttoned. I’m not sure I even remember how to work a button, but we shall see. Here’s to hoping. If I can button pants, I will officially be back to my old self.

Well it’s Leah’s lunch time. And like clockwork, she is starting to bleat. I suppose I better go get my little goat :). Until next time - Whenever that may be.